I'm Afraid I Might Become a Hoarder

True Story.  It’s all good though, because I worry about B becoming a hoarder too. Ha.

Watching “Hoarding: Buried Alive” on TLC is not a good idea for me. It makes me anxious. And that’s how it starts, isn’t it? :)

I try to have a big purge once a year.  Everything I haven’t used, have lost interest in, doesn’t fit, or whatever gets either tossed or put in a box to donate (but usually tossed). I have tried very hard to get B to do the same, but have only had minimal success … but we’ll get to that a little later.  I pride myself on doing a pretty good job of getting rid of things, but I have one major weakness …

I am a paper hoarder. I love paper. (And pens too. But only certain ones.) I save scraps of paper that I think might be useful later, I have several partially used notebooks sitting in storage - they’re too thin to use (which is ridiculous thinking - the purpose of paper is to use it, and it’s impossible for a notebook to be “too thin” but alas, that is my crazy mind at work), but I don’t want to waste the paper and just throw the notebook away (I get this from my mom - she has tons of partially used notebooks from the 80’s in storage in her basement).  I buy paper even though I know I have plenty at home.  I intend to use everything I purchase - but I end up losing the motivation and it just sits there, taking up space.  It’s a paper addiction, and it’s bad.  Once, I had a notebook in my green tote that I carry my lunch in, and a banana burst open and smeared on the notebook.  I cried.  It was my favorite notebook, and it was full of nasty banana.  Luckily I was able to save the notebook by wiping the banana remnants off and waiting for the corners to dry.  If that doesn’t prove that I’m crazy, I don’t know what would.  I’m trying to work on my paper hoarding and addiction, but it takes a lot of effort.  B is kind of helpful, because whenever I see stationery or notebooks that I want to buy, he asks if I really need it, and helps me to see that it’s not a need, it’s a want, and I’m able to walk away.  He’s like my own little paper-buying Jiminy Cricket.

B also has problems letting go of things. He still has tons of toys from when he was little, and he refuses to donate them or get rid of them because he has strong sentimental attachments to them.   He even told me that he wants to keep them (his old toys) “just in case our kids might want them.” He enjoyed his things so much as a child that he wants our children to have to opportunity to love the same things he did (it’s something I love about him, but it drives me crazy at the same time).  To which I just think “Yep, our unborn children are totally going to want to play with dad’s old toys instead of new ones.”  (and then I roll my eyes).  Half of our basement is hidden by piles of B’s sentimental treasures, and my office/craft room/girl cave is pretty messy and full as well … hopefully those piles don’t grow and start taking over other rooms!

Along with old toys, he has old t-shirts (most are wrestling themed, but I’m not gonna lie - there’s a Hilary Duff tee in there also) that he refuses to donate.  When we were still dating, I helped him go through his closet and set aside clothes to get rid of, and he fought really hard for those clothes.  In the end, I was able to convince him to get rid of some shirts, but I don’t really count it as a victory because he was so sad about it.  I felt really bad (but I’m happy that those shirts aren’t hanging in his closet anymore - closet space is extremely limited).  I almost wish I had let him hold onto those shirts - they would have made an awesome t-shirt quilt.  I’m pretty sure he has enough leftover to make one though … if only I could convince him to let me cut them up. :)

So yeah, there it is - B and I need to be careful, or we’re going to accumulate a ton of stuff and get buried alive in our house.  Or we won’t, but we really really really need to work on cleaning out our house and letting go of our “collections.”