It’s hard to believe, but we’re actually making some progress. Not immediate progress, but progress nonetheless.
I called the doctor’s office a couple of weeks ago with my monthly cycle check in with disappointing results to report - despite the increased dosage of Clomid, I didn’t have any positive OPK’s this cycle. My doctor was concerned about the intense cramping that I experienced, so I have officially been referred to a different practitioner who has a more hand on approach to treatment (she prefers to monitor patients who are on medication instead of having the patient self-monitor and report back, like I’ve been doing). Because I hadn’t gotten AF on my own and I was approaching CD40, the new Nurse Practitioner I’ll be seeing prescribed Provera (again) to help things along. On CD1, I have to call the doctor’s office so I can schedule an appointment and be seen by CD5. The purpose of the appointment is to get a baseline ultrasound and to check for possible cysts that could have been caused by the Clomid, and to have a general consult with the new practitioner.
I spent almost half an hour on the phone with the insurance company before calling the doctor’s office and agreeing to move forward with this new plan. I wanted to make sure everything would be covered, especially after the fiasco that was B’s appointment with the specialist that ended up being completely unnecessary and landed us a $400 out of pocket hospital bill for what should have been an office visit. A bill like that is not an option for us right now. I had looked over our policy book, and according to the book, everything up to and including IVF is covered, but there’s a $15,000 limit on fertility treatments (so far, I’ve used about $140 of that) - I figured it was probably safe to move forward, but insurance companies can be tricky, so I decided to be safe and call. After listening to the customer service representative talk in circles for a while and explaining and re-explaining the situation, I finally got an answer - as long as the appointment is billed as an office visit (and it will be, according to the nurse I talked to), we will only be responsible for our co-pay. Thank goodness. Now I just have to wait for my next cycle to start so we can get this process moving.
This journey is nothing like I had expected when we first started “trying” a year ago. It’s more disappointing and frustrating and exhausting than I could have ever imagined … but I’m not letting that stop me, because I know that the end result is going to be so worth it.
29 October 2012
05 October 2012
Oct-over It
Near the end of September, something came over me. I was getting really excited about October. I had a good feeling about this month and I was getting “signs” that got my hopes up - my fortune cookies told me a pleasant surprise was coming my way soon, and now is a good time to try something new, I had started a higher dose of Clomid. Things had to work, and my luck had to be changing …
And now, my optimism for October is going down the drain quickly, and we’re barely into the month.
Today is CD22. To this point, I’ve had negative OPK’s and my chart looks awful. I wish I still had some optimism left, but I just don’t. The only thing that seemed somewhat promising was the awful sharp cramps I would randomly feel. I thought they had to be a sign that my ovaries were trying to function properly. Because I still haven’t gotten my positive OPK, I’m beginning to think those pains are actually a sign that something is going wrong.
I am well aware that it’s possible to ovulate late in your cycle - even after CD22. I really really wish that this might be the case for me, but truthfully, the odds are against me. It is completely my fault. I haven’t been doing the things I should have been doing - eating right, continuing my yoga, getting real exercise … I’ve been lazy and unmotivated. I’m just too exhausted to do the things that I know I should be doing. It’s awful. I’m definitely stuck in a rut right now, and I need to dig my way out of it ASAP.
I haven’t completely decided yet, but I’m leaning toward an unmedicated cycle next time around. And I’m pretty sure I’m not going to chart my BBT. I will definitely still use my Cleadblue Easy Fertility Monitor though - I have to have some idea about whatrs going on at least. “They” always say that once you take a break from following procedure, things just fall into place. I’m skeptical of this - my body doesn’t typically function the way it’s supposed to, so odds are if I go unmedicated, I probably won’t ovulate at all, but you never know, right? I’m hoping that taking a break in November will lead to a turkey in my oven … maybe if I get back on track and fake some optimism, good things will happen … until they do happen, I think I’ll keep my fingers crossed.
And now, my optimism for October is going down the drain quickly, and we’re barely into the month.
Today is CD22. To this point, I’ve had negative OPK’s and my chart looks awful. I wish I still had some optimism left, but I just don’t. The only thing that seemed somewhat promising was the awful sharp cramps I would randomly feel. I thought they had to be a sign that my ovaries were trying to function properly. Because I still haven’t gotten my positive OPK, I’m beginning to think those pains are actually a sign that something is going wrong.
I am well aware that it’s possible to ovulate late in your cycle - even after CD22. I really really wish that this might be the case for me, but truthfully, the odds are against me. It is completely my fault. I haven’t been doing the things I should have been doing - eating right, continuing my yoga, getting real exercise … I’ve been lazy and unmotivated. I’m just too exhausted to do the things that I know I should be doing. It’s awful. I’m definitely stuck in a rut right now, and I need to dig my way out of it ASAP.
I haven’t completely decided yet, but I’m leaning toward an unmedicated cycle next time around. And I’m pretty sure I’m not going to chart my BBT. I will definitely still use my Cleadblue Easy Fertility Monitor though - I have to have some idea about whatrs going on at least. “They” always say that once you take a break from following procedure, things just fall into place. I’m skeptical of this - my body doesn’t typically function the way it’s supposed to, so odds are if I go unmedicated, I probably won’t ovulate at all, but you never know, right? I’m hoping that taking a break in November will lead to a turkey in my oven … maybe if I get back on track and fake some optimism, good things will happen … until they do happen, I think I’ll keep my fingers crossed.
28 September 2012
The Itch
I’m getting it again. The itch to give part of our house a facelift. Unfortunately I’m probably not going to be able to follow through for a while because we don’t have any money to put toward house projects (thanks, stupid medical bill). B isn’t going to be happy that I’m wanting to do this either. He hates house projects - he’s just not a handy DIY type of guy, so he probably won’t be too involved in the process when I finally get around to it. And that’s okay with me, I’m more than prepared to do this mostly on my own once we have the budget to do so.
My desire to update another room never really goes away, but it became a stronger, nagging need within the past month or so. Recently, my break between work shifts has been spent obsessively looking at home decor pins on Pinterest and watching HGTV (specifically Love It or List It, Property Brothers, and Income Property. Those are my top 3 favorites). All of the beautiful inspiration made me realize how ugly different parts of our house are (sorry house), and it sparked some ideas in my mind.
There are 2 rooms that I’d really love to tackle that I think could be done on a minimal budget and wouldn’t call for a lot of physically demanding work (I hope) - the laundry room and the front entryway. These rooms are in decent condition, but they’re so unattractive - wood panels in both rooms - including the ceiling of the front entryway. Yuck.
When I finally get permission from the Mister to update these rooms, they’ll both go through similar updates. Due to budgetary restrictions (aka we’re cheap and broke), the wood paneling will have to stay. It’s kind of crappy, but that’s more of a phase 2 update that will happen wayyyyy down the road. To make it look less gross, the plan is to prime both rooms with a high quality stain blocking primer (I’m researching what would be the best option), and then both rooms will be covered with a pretty color. In the laundry room, I’m thinking a nice pale blue to give it a light, clean, airy feeling. Choosing a color for the front entry is a little more difficult - it has to go with the ugly brown and orange-y floors (hopefully those will also be part of phase 2) and transition well into our brown/tan living room, but because the room currently wood and there’s wood paneling on the ceiling, I’m not really feeling more brown. I’d love to throw in a light, fun color, but it needs to “go” with the style and feel of the rest of the house. Paint colors are tricky. Both rooms will get some nice DIY’ed art treatments and will be de-cluttered, and that’s pretty much the bulk of the work I’ll be able to do on my own.
There are a few projects that I’d like to convince my father-in-law to build for the 2 rooms (I’d try to help at least). In the laundry room, I’d like to find room for a laundry basket dresser (like the one shown here) and possibly even a litter box hider (like this one). The front entry needs a bench with storage underneath for shoes. I feel like all three of these projects should be fairly easy for B’s dad to build, but they’re the lowest priorities on my list, so they’ll be more likely to be a part of phase 2.
I really hope that we can get around to doing the easy, minor updates soon - I’m ready for some change.
My desire to update another room never really goes away, but it became a stronger, nagging need within the past month or so. Recently, my break between work shifts has been spent obsessively looking at home decor pins on Pinterest and watching HGTV (specifically Love It or List It, Property Brothers, and Income Property. Those are my top 3 favorites). All of the beautiful inspiration made me realize how ugly different parts of our house are (sorry house), and it sparked some ideas in my mind.
There are 2 rooms that I’d really love to tackle that I think could be done on a minimal budget and wouldn’t call for a lot of physically demanding work (I hope) - the laundry room and the front entryway. These rooms are in decent condition, but they’re so unattractive - wood panels in both rooms - including the ceiling of the front entryway. Yuck.
When I finally get permission from the Mister to update these rooms, they’ll both go through similar updates. Due to budgetary restrictions (aka we’re cheap and broke), the wood paneling will have to stay. It’s kind of crappy, but that’s more of a phase 2 update that will happen wayyyyy down the road. To make it look less gross, the plan is to prime both rooms with a high quality stain blocking primer (I’m researching what would be the best option), and then both rooms will be covered with a pretty color. In the laundry room, I’m thinking a nice pale blue to give it a light, clean, airy feeling. Choosing a color for the front entry is a little more difficult - it has to go with the ugly brown and orange-y floors (hopefully those will also be part of phase 2) and transition well into our brown/tan living room, but because the room currently wood and there’s wood paneling on the ceiling, I’m not really feeling more brown. I’d love to throw in a light, fun color, but it needs to “go” with the style and feel of the rest of the house. Paint colors are tricky. Both rooms will get some nice DIY’ed art treatments and will be de-cluttered, and that’s pretty much the bulk of the work I’ll be able to do on my own.
There are a few projects that I’d like to convince my father-in-law to build for the 2 rooms (I’d try to help at least). In the laundry room, I’d like to find room for a laundry basket dresser (like the one shown here) and possibly even a litter box hider (like this one). The front entry needs a bench with storage underneath for shoes. I feel like all three of these projects should be fairly easy for B’s dad to build, but they’re the lowest priorities on my list, so they’ll be more likely to be a part of phase 2.
I really hope that we can get around to doing the easy, minor updates soon - I’m ready for some change.
10 September 2012
Killer
This weekend, I killed something that I was kinda fond of. No worries though, friends, because it wasn’t a living thing. A few weeks ago, I started working on a Pinterest inspired project that everyone and their mother has been making lately - an ugly framed picture into a lovely framed chalkboard. I bought a large framed picture from Goodwill for $8 and change, I grabbed spray paint in chalkboard, primer, and breezy blue, and I started spray painting my heart out. Once the first coat of chalkboard paint was on the glass and I had primed the frame, I carried my masterpiece to the basement to dry. Fast forward a couple of weeks, and tragedy strikes …
On Sunday, B was cleaning in the basement, and I went down to bother him. The cat was wandering around downstairs, and B was mentioning that he didn’t want her to fall into a hole in the workroom floor. I challenged him, saying I didn’t think it was possible for her to fit - so of course we had to go investigate to see who was right (spoiler alert: It was B. No surprise, because I know next to nothing about this house and he’s lived here for 20 years). So we walked into the workroom, and I had to get closer to the area to get a good look at the hole. On my way to the opposite side of the workroom, I wasn’t paying attention, and I stepped right on top of the chalkboard painted glass. It cracked immediately, and I was so disappointed. If anyone is concerned, I was lucky enough to avoid getting cut by the glass. B was not so lucky, and got a small cut while disposing of the shards. Sorry honey.
Even though I experienced a huge disappointment this weekend, I haven’t given up on the chalkboard frame idea. I have come up with a new plan for *hopefully* making this work - I’m going to chalkboard paint the foam board that was going to serve as the backing to the glass - this could actually be a bonus because it will make it so much lighter. Hopefully the paint will look just as nice, but if it doesn’t … then I guess I move on to plan C (start over with a new ugly Goodwill picture/frame and use the original in a different way - string some wire across, use small clothespins or clips to hang pictures). Even though I failed miserably the first time around, I’m hoping that the mistakes I made will lead to an even better result to share in the future.
On Sunday, B was cleaning in the basement, and I went down to bother him. The cat was wandering around downstairs, and B was mentioning that he didn’t want her to fall into a hole in the workroom floor. I challenged him, saying I didn’t think it was possible for her to fit - so of course we had to go investigate to see who was right (spoiler alert: It was B. No surprise, because I know next to nothing about this house and he’s lived here for 20 years). So we walked into the workroom, and I had to get closer to the area to get a good look at the hole. On my way to the opposite side of the workroom, I wasn’t paying attention, and I stepped right on top of the chalkboard painted glass. It cracked immediately, and I was so disappointed. If anyone is concerned, I was lucky enough to avoid getting cut by the glass. B was not so lucky, and got a small cut while disposing of the shards. Sorry honey.
Even though I experienced a huge disappointment this weekend, I haven’t given up on the chalkboard frame idea. I have come up with a new plan for *hopefully* making this work - I’m going to chalkboard paint the foam board that was going to serve as the backing to the glass - this could actually be a bonus because it will make it so much lighter. Hopefully the paint will look just as nice, but if it doesn’t … then I guess I move on to plan C (start over with a new ugly Goodwill picture/frame and use the original in a different way - string some wire across, use small clothespins or clips to hang pictures). Even though I failed miserably the first time around, I’m hoping that the mistakes I made will lead to an even better result to share in the future.
30 August 2012
One Step Forward ...
And 1,000 steps back. Yeah, I’m exaggerating a little - it’s not that bad, but setbacks while TTC SUCK.
Yesterday was CD40. Not even remotely close to the longest I’ve gone between cycles (154 days), but I didn’t want to sit around waiting for something to happen. Thankfully the nurses in my doctor’s office are very helpful and prompt, and my doctor is super proactive with my treatment. I got a phone call maybe a half hour after sending an email to the doctor’s office from a very nice nurse asking for more details, and then she called back after about 15 minutes with a plan of action from the doctor.
I started taking Provera again tonight to hopefully induce another cycle, and I have 100mg of Clomid to take on CD5-9. I was really hoping that I wouldn’t have to start the Provera again, and I was especially hopeful after having AF show up on her own - early - in July. Unfortunately, that just wasn’t the case - stupid body.
Along with the medications, I’d like to get more into the yoga I kind of started practicing. Once in a while I’ll spend a half hour or so on it, but I need to start a regular routine. It might not make a huge difference, but it can’t hurt. Maybe combining all of these factors will get us a BFP in September … my fingers (and toes) are crossed.
Yesterday was CD40. Not even remotely close to the longest I’ve gone between cycles (154 days), but I didn’t want to sit around waiting for something to happen. Thankfully the nurses in my doctor’s office are very helpful and prompt, and my doctor is super proactive with my treatment. I got a phone call maybe a half hour after sending an email to the doctor’s office from a very nice nurse asking for more details, and then she called back after about 15 minutes with a plan of action from the doctor.
I started taking Provera again tonight to hopefully induce another cycle, and I have 100mg of Clomid to take on CD5-9. I was really hoping that I wouldn’t have to start the Provera again, and I was especially hopeful after having AF show up on her own - early - in July. Unfortunately, that just wasn’t the case - stupid body.
Along with the medications, I’d like to get more into the yoga I kind of started practicing. Once in a while I’ll spend a half hour or so on it, but I need to start a regular routine. It might not make a huge difference, but it can’t hurt. Maybe combining all of these factors will get us a BFP in September … my fingers (and toes) are crossed.
28 August 2012
Cotton
Two years ago, I married my best friend. Married life hasn’t always been sunshine and rainbows, but it’s been a great experience so far.
Our plans for our anniversary are pretty awesome. We started out with no plans, aside from going out for dinner at one of our favorite places. By the end of last night, however, our anniversary got much more interesting. B tweeted at Elizabeth Banks - he was trying to get tickets to a pre-screening of the movie “Pitch Perfect” in Chicago. She actually tweeted back at him saying that we’re on the list to get into the movie, and she wished us a happy anniversary. Pretty freakin’ cool. We’ll spend some of the day in Chicago - probably hang out at Navy Pier - and then we get to see a movie that I am really excited to see. Nice job, B :).
In other anniversary gift news, B kept with tradition and didn’t even know it - my first gift from him (which I received early) is a Doctor Who Adipose plushie. It’s soo cute! I haven’t named him yet …
As for my gift to B … there isn’t one yet. He’s very difficult to buy for … plus he makes like all of the money in our relationship, so it’s kind of like giving him a gift from himself. All I can do is write him sappy cards (and blog posts) about how much I love him. Thankfully that seems to be enough.
Our plans for our anniversary are pretty awesome. We started out with no plans, aside from going out for dinner at one of our favorite places. By the end of last night, however, our anniversary got much more interesting. B tweeted at Elizabeth Banks - he was trying to get tickets to a pre-screening of the movie “Pitch Perfect” in Chicago. She actually tweeted back at him saying that we’re on the list to get into the movie, and she wished us a happy anniversary. Pretty freakin’ cool. We’ll spend some of the day in Chicago - probably hang out at Navy Pier - and then we get to see a movie that I am really excited to see. Nice job, B :).
In other anniversary gift news, B kept with tradition and didn’t even know it - my first gift from him (which I received early) is a Doctor Who Adipose plushie. It’s soo cute! I haven’t named him yet …
As for my gift to B … there isn’t one yet. He’s very difficult to buy for … plus he makes like all of the money in our relationship, so it’s kind of like giving him a gift from himself. All I can do is write him sappy cards (and blog posts) about how much I love him. Thankfully that seems to be enough.
25 July 2012
Trying Something New
Now that I’m on CD5 (damn you, AF!), I figured I would share the TTC changes I’m making this cycle.
One new thing that I’m very excited to try this cycle is the Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor. I stalked eBay, put in several bids (and lost several auctions), and ended up buying a gently used monitor at the super discounted price of $64.98 (originally $69.98, but there was an issue with the shipping - I was charged $2 to pick it up from the post office because there was postage due on it. I contacted the seller, and they were amazing enough to refund $5 for the hassle). Not a bad deal at all, considering they retail for $130-150. The one downside to the CBEFM is that the test sticks usually sell for about $40 for 30 sticks. Quite an increase when compared to my previous $14 for 40 Wondfo ovulation sticks and 10 pregnancy tests from Amazon. With any luck, it will help us right away and I won’t need it for more than a couple of cycles (which should only use one box of 30 sticks). Once we no longer need it, I’ll either stash it away in storage or resell it to another TTC-er and make back the money I spent on it. I think it was a pretty good investment.
Another new thing that I’m pretty excited about is my “exercise regimen.” I say that in quotes because I don’t really like to exercise (not a good thing), and I don’t do this regularly, but … I have started to kind of get into yoga for fertility. This consists of different yoga poses that help the flow of energy and blood to the reproductive areas. I don’t know that I really believe in all of that (well, I get the blood circulation, but energy? Meh) but I figured it can’t really hurt. At the very least, it helps me relax and that’s a very major benefit to me. Currently, I’m trying some stuff I found on YouTube because I didn’t want to have to pay for it if it turned out it wasn’t for me. If I start getting more into it and notice a lot of benefits and changes, then maybe I’ll purchase a DVD. Actually, I’d really like to go to a class, but living in a small town means yoga classes aren’t readily available. Maybe some day …
I also made a few minor changes to my diet. I’m attempting to eat more leafy greens (I say attempting because - lets be real - eating spinach salads for a week straight got old fast. Taking a break for a couple weeks, then trying again with a much smaller supply of spinach), I’m trying to eat more protein (yum! eggs!), and I’m going crazy over fresh fruit. I’m still working on portion sizes and well-rounded meals, and I just can’t seem to kick my chocolate cravings - there’s definitely room for improvement.
I’m pretty proud of myself for attempting to make some changes and trying new things, and I’m always looking for more suggestions, if any TTC-ers want to share.
Just don’t say acupuncture. I won’t do that. :)
One new thing that I’m very excited to try this cycle is the Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor. I stalked eBay, put in several bids (and lost several auctions), and ended up buying a gently used monitor at the super discounted price of $64.98 (originally $69.98, but there was an issue with the shipping - I was charged $2 to pick it up from the post office because there was postage due on it. I contacted the seller, and they were amazing enough to refund $5 for the hassle). Not a bad deal at all, considering they retail for $130-150. The one downside to the CBEFM is that the test sticks usually sell for about $40 for 30 sticks. Quite an increase when compared to my previous $14 for 40 Wondfo ovulation sticks and 10 pregnancy tests from Amazon. With any luck, it will help us right away and I won’t need it for more than a couple of cycles (which should only use one box of 30 sticks). Once we no longer need it, I’ll either stash it away in storage or resell it to another TTC-er and make back the money I spent on it. I think it was a pretty good investment.
Another new thing that I’m pretty excited about is my “exercise regimen.” I say that in quotes because I don’t really like to exercise (not a good thing), and I don’t do this regularly, but … I have started to kind of get into yoga for fertility. This consists of different yoga poses that help the flow of energy and blood to the reproductive areas. I don’t know that I really believe in all of that (well, I get the blood circulation, but energy? Meh) but I figured it can’t really hurt. At the very least, it helps me relax and that’s a very major benefit to me. Currently, I’m trying some stuff I found on YouTube because I didn’t want to have to pay for it if it turned out it wasn’t for me. If I start getting more into it and notice a lot of benefits and changes, then maybe I’ll purchase a DVD. Actually, I’d really like to go to a class, but living in a small town means yoga classes aren’t readily available. Maybe some day …
I also made a few minor changes to my diet. I’m attempting to eat more leafy greens (I say attempting because - lets be real - eating spinach salads for a week straight got old fast. Taking a break for a couple weeks, then trying again with a much smaller supply of spinach), I’m trying to eat more protein (yum! eggs!), and I’m going crazy over fresh fruit. I’m still working on portion sizes and well-rounded meals, and I just can’t seem to kick my chocolate cravings - there’s definitely room for improvement.
I’m pretty proud of myself for attempting to make some changes and trying new things, and I’m always looking for more suggestions, if any TTC-ers want to share.
Just don’t say acupuncture. I won’t do that. :)
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