I apologize in advance if this post makes no sense - my brain is all kinds of jumbled right now. Also, be warned that this post is pretty much all about AF, so if you want to avoid a TMI-fest, move on now.
Last weekend, I noticed that I had started spotting, which was absolutely amazing to me - it's been so long since I've started AF without the help of Provera. On Monday night, the spotting was a little heavier, and by mid-day Tuesday, I was certain that AF had finally arrived - it definitely seemed like a full flow. I called the clinic, and because of a long workday on Wednesday and the holiday on Thursday (which would be CD3, when I typically have the baseline), it was decided that I would come in for the last appointment on Tuesday (on CD1) for my baseline ultrasound. My ultrasound came back normal, I talked with a nurse about setting up an appointment for my HSG, and my RE gave me a lot of information about injectables, because I'm starting those this cycle (holy shit). It was a lot of information to take in, and I'm surprised I didn't completely break down when we got to the car. Instead of turning into a sobbing mess, I turned to my BFF the Internet for support from my friends who have gone through or are currently going through infertility treatments, and to research the least expensive supplier of injectables. (Spoiler Alert: injectables are expensive everywhere. The best choice I found was Walgreen's Specialty - after enrolling in the Design Rx program, the cost will come to $254. My second choice was Freedom Fertility, at $256.)
On Wednesday, I got a call from one of the nurses letting me know when my HSG had been scheduled (next Wednesday at 10:45), and I used that opportunity to ask about my cycle being wonky. I explained that I was only spotting again, that I only briefly had full flow, and that I was confused about what was happening. She told me that sometimes it's normal for AF to start, then stop, then start again, so I should just wait it out, and if there was no increase by Friday, give them a call again to figure out what's next.
Because I am clearly cursed, there was no change over the last couple of days. Still just spotting, and barely that. I called this morning to talk to a nurse, and she said just go ahead with things as planned (although now the medications will all be pushed back a day). So that was the plan ... until I got a phone call from my clinic this afternoon. She said that my RE has requested a blood pregnancy test to make sure that all of our bases are covered (even though the odds of that being the cause of this stupid, semi-non-existent AF are slim to none). Unless I hitchhike, that's going to have to wait until tomorrow.
When we started with treatments over a year ago, I knew that things weren't going to be easy. What I didn't expect was that things would become so damn complicated. I'm ready for everything to fall into place ... any day now would be perfect.
Showing posts with label Clomid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Clomid. Show all posts
05 July 2013
27 April 2013
Stuck
I think that's the best way to describe how I've been feeling lately.
I think in my last TTC update (which was posted forever ago), I was dealing with a canceled cycle. And that canceled cycle lasted 65 days. This time around, I took 150mg of Clomid, which helped me grow 2 nice looking follicles. On CD12, they were 15.9mm and 15.3mm. But then my estradiol results came in super low. I went back on CD16 in the hopes that my estradiol had increased, but of course, that wasn't the case. Another canceled cycle to add to the list. So now I'm in a different kind of 2 week wait - the one were I sit around waiting until I can call and ask for my Provera prescription (because it's very unlikely that AF is going to show up naturally), and then we can move onto the next cycle. I'm looking forward to the next cycle - the plan is to try Femara this time, and I'm really hoping that it works out better than the Clomid.
I've been really stuck at work too (which is a topic that I try to avoid bringing up around here). I've barely been tolerating my job for a while, but I've finally come to accept that this job is never going to be satisfying to me, I'm never going to advance, and I'm done trying to fight to make this job something it's not. I'm starting to feel like my brain is mush-ifying. A while back, I was seriously looking into going back to school for my Master's degree, but then decided to put it off. It's expensive, we have a bunch of student loans that need to be paid off, it's time consuming, and we were just starting to try to get pregnant, so the timing wasn't right. And now, with the fertility treatments, it's even less of an option - the timing isn't right again, so of course this is the time that I'd start thinking about going back to school again. I'm hoping that I'll be able to find some kind of alternative to appeal to my academic side that's a bit less expensive, that way I can exercise my brain without breaking the bank. We'll see what happens.
So yeah, that's what's been going on lately. Fun times :)
I think in my last TTC update (which was posted forever ago), I was dealing with a canceled cycle. And that canceled cycle lasted 65 days. This time around, I took 150mg of Clomid, which helped me grow 2 nice looking follicles. On CD12, they were 15.9mm and 15.3mm. But then my estradiol results came in super low. I went back on CD16 in the hopes that my estradiol had increased, but of course, that wasn't the case. Another canceled cycle to add to the list. So now I'm in a different kind of 2 week wait - the one were I sit around waiting until I can call and ask for my Provera prescription (because it's very unlikely that AF is going to show up naturally), and then we can move onto the next cycle. I'm looking forward to the next cycle - the plan is to try Femara this time, and I'm really hoping that it works out better than the Clomid.
I've been really stuck at work too (which is a topic that I try to avoid bringing up around here). I've barely been tolerating my job for a while, but I've finally come to accept that this job is never going to be satisfying to me, I'm never going to advance, and I'm done trying to fight to make this job something it's not. I'm starting to feel like my brain is mush-ifying. A while back, I was seriously looking into going back to school for my Master's degree, but then decided to put it off. It's expensive, we have a bunch of student loans that need to be paid off, it's time consuming, and we were just starting to try to get pregnant, so the timing wasn't right. And now, with the fertility treatments, it's even less of an option - the timing isn't right again, so of course this is the time that I'd start thinking about going back to school again. I'm hoping that I'll be able to find some kind of alternative to appeal to my academic side that's a bit less expensive, that way I can exercise my brain without breaking the bank. We'll see what happens.
So yeah, that's what's been going on lately. Fun times :)
27 February 2013
Canceled
This cycle was officially canceled on CD22 (last Friday). I went in Friday morning for a blood draw to check on my estradiol level - it was low on CD13, still low on CD16, slightly higher on CD18, and then plummeted again on CD22. It never broke 100, which was definitely not a good sign. My wimpy E2 has been the bane of my existence for a few months now. I actually remembered to ask my NP if there was anything that could be done to help it improve, but she said the only way to help it would be to increase my Clomid dose next round and hope that my follicles grow faster. Yay.
So now we’re pretty much back to square one, which totally sucks. I have to admit, I wasn’t really feeling this cycle - it just didn’t feel the same as the ones when I actually did ovulate. I was super surprised at my mid-cycle scans when we saw 2 growing follicles - I wasn’t expecting to see any good one, but of course they had to fizzle out and be disappointing, as usual. At this point, I’m surprised when something good happens rather than the opposite.
Regardless of my low expectations, I’m still bummed that this cycle was such a waste. We’re getting down to the wire - if I have a cycle in March, it will be our last chance to have a baby in 2013.
I like even numbers better anyway … :)
So now we’re pretty much back to square one, which totally sucks. I have to admit, I wasn’t really feeling this cycle - it just didn’t feel the same as the ones when I actually did ovulate. I was super surprised at my mid-cycle scans when we saw 2 growing follicles - I wasn’t expecting to see any good one, but of course they had to fizzle out and be disappointing, as usual. At this point, I’m surprised when something good happens rather than the opposite.
Regardless of my low expectations, I’m still bummed that this cycle was such a waste. We’re getting down to the wire - if I have a cycle in March, it will be our last chance to have a baby in 2013.
I like even numbers better anyway … :)
14 February 2013
Frustrated
With everything that’s going on right now, I could really use a win. Unfortunately, I don’t see that happening any time soon.
On Saturday, B took our Prius to the dealership because we had gotten some recall notices. Of course they found $1,200 worth of things that needed to be fixed up, including a $400 water pump that needed to be fixed immediately. Awesome. (The rest of that stuff includes some stupid things like replacing the spark plugs, so we’re going to put that off for a little while.) As much as I love our Prius, I’m really tempted to just sell it. I don’t want to deal with paying a bunch of money for all of that junk, we only use it on the weekends because B has a company car and I don’t drive … we could use the extra money from our car payment every month to pay student loans or improve the house … We’ll see what ends up happening with it.
After B finally got home from the dealership in his rental car, we took our cat to the vet. She had a hernia on her left side from the day we picked her up from the humane society, and there was a new lump that had formed in front of the prior one, which worried us. Our plan was for her to have surgery to have these problems fixed - she was dropped off Monday night, had surgery Tuesday afternoon, and she came home yesterday afternoon. The surgery was more complicated than they had expected (both lumps were indeed hernias, but there’s a third that goes into her chest cavity. It’s blocked off by some connective tissue that acts as a fat storage area, so we shouldn’t have to worry about it, but it’s something for us to keep in mind if she ever starts acting “off.” Some of the connective fatty tissue was removed from the 2 hernias on her left side.) She looks so sad and pathetic. (They didn’t clean her up very well post-op, so she’s going to need a sponge bath eventually. Maybe when she’s feeling a little better in a few days.)
I haven’t seen her eat or drink anything since she came home, but she’s used the litter box, so I guess that’s a good sign. I think the cone on her head is part of why she’s so mopey. It can’t be fun. She’s only had a partial dose of her pain medication - she fought really hard when I tried to give her a dose last night. The girl hates medicine. We have to take her back to the vet in a week and a half to have the staples removed, so I’m sure that will be a fun adventure also.
Before we picked the cat up from the vet’s office yesterday, we went to my clinic for my mid-cycle follicle scan. This time, there were 2 follicles, but they were only 13mm and 12mm (on CD13). I have another ultrasound appointment on Saturday (CD16). I’m not sure how that’s going to go though, because the results from my E2 draw yesterday SUCKED. We were looking for a 200 range, and my result was 56. I’m so frustrated. I really thought that being on the double dose of Clomid was going to make this cycle better. Wrong again. Urgh. Hopefully I’ll have a chance to talk to my NP before the appointment on Saturday and we can figure out a way to help those numbers improve (if that’s even possible).
I kind of feel bad that I’m not in a very good mood on Valentine’s day. I didn’t do anything special for either of my classes - I didn’t have the energy. B and I don’t have anything too crazy planned for tonight either - we decided our lunch out yesterday would count as our special Valentine’s dinner, and we text messaged each other funny Valentine cards this afternoon - good enough for me.
Hopefully things start getting better soon … that would be nice.
On Saturday, B took our Prius to the dealership because we had gotten some recall notices. Of course they found $1,200 worth of things that needed to be fixed up, including a $400 water pump that needed to be fixed immediately. Awesome. (The rest of that stuff includes some stupid things like replacing the spark plugs, so we’re going to put that off for a little while.) As much as I love our Prius, I’m really tempted to just sell it. I don’t want to deal with paying a bunch of money for all of that junk, we only use it on the weekends because B has a company car and I don’t drive … we could use the extra money from our car payment every month to pay student loans or improve the house … We’ll see what ends up happening with it.
After B finally got home from the dealership in his rental car, we took our cat to the vet. She had a hernia on her left side from the day we picked her up from the humane society, and there was a new lump that had formed in front of the prior one, which worried us. Our plan was for her to have surgery to have these problems fixed - she was dropped off Monday night, had surgery Tuesday afternoon, and she came home yesterday afternoon. The surgery was more complicated than they had expected (both lumps were indeed hernias, but there’s a third that goes into her chest cavity. It’s blocked off by some connective tissue that acts as a fat storage area, so we shouldn’t have to worry about it, but it’s something for us to keep in mind if she ever starts acting “off.” Some of the connective fatty tissue was removed from the 2 hernias on her left side.) She looks so sad and pathetic. (They didn’t clean her up very well post-op, so she’s going to need a sponge bath eventually. Maybe when she’s feeling a little better in a few days.)
I haven’t seen her eat or drink anything since she came home, but she’s used the litter box, so I guess that’s a good sign. I think the cone on her head is part of why she’s so mopey. It can’t be fun. She’s only had a partial dose of her pain medication - she fought really hard when I tried to give her a dose last night. The girl hates medicine. We have to take her back to the vet in a week and a half to have the staples removed, so I’m sure that will be a fun adventure also.
Before we picked the cat up from the vet’s office yesterday, we went to my clinic for my mid-cycle follicle scan. This time, there were 2 follicles, but they were only 13mm and 12mm (on CD13). I have another ultrasound appointment on Saturday (CD16). I’m not sure how that’s going to go though, because the results from my E2 draw yesterday SUCKED. We were looking for a 200 range, and my result was 56. I’m so frustrated. I really thought that being on the double dose of Clomid was going to make this cycle better. Wrong again. Urgh. Hopefully I’ll have a chance to talk to my NP before the appointment on Saturday and we can figure out a way to help those numbers improve (if that’s even possible).
I kind of feel bad that I’m not in a very good mood on Valentine’s day. I didn’t do anything special for either of my classes - I didn’t have the energy. B and I don’t have anything too crazy planned for tonight either - we decided our lunch out yesterday would count as our special Valentine’s dinner, and we text messaged each other funny Valentine cards this afternoon - good enough for me.
Hopefully things start getting better soon … that would be nice.
12 January 2013
Happenings
Project 365 - I decided to start taking a photo a day to help with my resolution to take more pictures. I’ve been using the Project 365 iPhone app to keep myself on track. I started out doing really well, but after a week or so, I started slacking (no surprise there). It’s hard to remember to take a picture every single day, and some days, there’s really nothing photo worthy going on - it’s a challenge. We’ll see how long I manage to stick with this project.
The Simpsons: Tapped Out - I am addicted to this game. B and I started playing at the same time, and even though this isn’t a competitive game, I can’t help but check in on B’s progress (and get jealous when he’s doing better than I am). Typically, he’s ahead of me in XP and levels up before I do, and I’m ahead in tasks and buildings. (If you play the game and want to add another friend, my username is JustJu21)
TTC - It’s looking like this is going to be another long cycle that will only end with the help of medication. Boo. I’m going to call my NP’s office Monday morning to update her on things, and I’ll probably get another prescription for Provera and then move onto my 3rd monitored Clomid cycle. As much as I’m glad to have the added insight provided by the monitored cycles, it’s kind of a pain in the ass. Please, please, please ute and ovaries … do your damn job already!
Things have been quite mellow around here lately for the most part, which is fine with me. A little more progress in the TTC department would be appreciated, but otherwise, I can’t complain.
The Simpsons: Tapped Out - I am addicted to this game. B and I started playing at the same time, and even though this isn’t a competitive game, I can’t help but check in on B’s progress (and get jealous when he’s doing better than I am). Typically, he’s ahead of me in XP and levels up before I do, and I’m ahead in tasks and buildings. (If you play the game and want to add another friend, my username is JustJu21)
TTC - It’s looking like this is going to be another long cycle that will only end with the help of medication. Boo. I’m going to call my NP’s office Monday morning to update her on things, and I’ll probably get another prescription for Provera and then move onto my 3rd monitored Clomid cycle. As much as I’m glad to have the added insight provided by the monitored cycles, it’s kind of a pain in the ass. Please, please, please ute and ovaries … do your damn job already!
Things have been quite mellow around here lately for the most part, which is fine with me. A little more progress in the TTC department would be appreciated, but otherwise, I can’t complain.
03 January 2013
Kicking off the New Year
So far, 2013 has not been too great.
On New Year’s Eve, I went for my 3rd estradiol draw in a span of 5 days, and my NP called with my results a few hours later - it was even lower than my first draw - the follicle that we thought would lead to ovulation was no good. Another disappointment. Next cycle will be the same routine of ultrasounds and blood draws. My Clomid dosage is being increased to 100mg this time around. We’ll see if that’s what I need.
On New Year’s Day, B woke up and noticed our house was extra cold - the furnace broke. We thought it was just the ignitor - we have to replace it every couple of years - but we were wrong. After calling a company that had emergency service, we found out that the problem was actually with the heat exchange, aka much more difficult and expensive to fix than an ignitor. Of course. So we were without real heat all day on New Year’s Day, with only 2 small personal heaters and one larger personal heater (and plenty of layers and blankets) to keep us warm. Luckily, the repairmen were able to get the part that we needed fairly quickly, so our furnace was fixed yesterday morning (thank goodness). The estimate for the bill was $200-500 (we weren’t billed right away because the part that was replaced should be partially covered under a limited warrantee or something like that) - I’m not looking forward to getting that bill in the mail.
To top it all off, I had to go back to work yesterday after 13 glorious days off, and I walked into the same drama and bad attitudes that I left 2 weeks ago. I was hoping to have a fresh start with the new year - that was wishful thinking. I’m going to try and stress less about the things that are beyond my control (like the behavior of my co-workers, boss, and students) … maybe I can bring about the change that I desperately need in my work situation. At the very least, I can look forward to a vacation day in a few weeks.
This year is not starting out the way I hoped it would - that just means it can only get better from here … right?!
On New Year’s Eve, I went for my 3rd estradiol draw in a span of 5 days, and my NP called with my results a few hours later - it was even lower than my first draw - the follicle that we thought would lead to ovulation was no good. Another disappointment. Next cycle will be the same routine of ultrasounds and blood draws. My Clomid dosage is being increased to 100mg this time around. We’ll see if that’s what I need.
On New Year’s Day, B woke up and noticed our house was extra cold - the furnace broke. We thought it was just the ignitor - we have to replace it every couple of years - but we were wrong. After calling a company that had emergency service, we found out that the problem was actually with the heat exchange, aka much more difficult and expensive to fix than an ignitor. Of course. So we were without real heat all day on New Year’s Day, with only 2 small personal heaters and one larger personal heater (and plenty of layers and blankets) to keep us warm. Luckily, the repairmen were able to get the part that we needed fairly quickly, so our furnace was fixed yesterday morning (thank goodness). The estimate for the bill was $200-500 (we weren’t billed right away because the part that was replaced should be partially covered under a limited warrantee or something like that) - I’m not looking forward to getting that bill in the mail.
To top it all off, I had to go back to work yesterday after 13 glorious days off, and I walked into the same drama and bad attitudes that I left 2 weeks ago. I was hoping to have a fresh start with the new year - that was wishful thinking. I’m going to try and stress less about the things that are beyond my control (like the behavior of my co-workers, boss, and students) … maybe I can bring about the change that I desperately need in my work situation. At the very least, I can look forward to a vacation day in a few weeks.
This year is not starting out the way I hoped it would - that just means it can only get better from here … right?!
19 November 2012
Appointment Update
Last Wednesday, I finally had my appointment with the Nurse Practitioner my doctor referred me to.
I was nervous all morning leading up to the appointment, but thankfully, the appointment itself wasn’t awful at all - I really liked the NP, and I got some very good information. The ultrasound was quick and painless. My ute looked good, however … I finally got the diagnosis that I’ve been worried about since we started TTC - it turns out I have PCOS. I’ve had a suspicion all along, despite being told that my blood work came back in normal ranges, so I wasn’t completely shocked by the diagnosis, but it still sucks. At least now I know for sure, and we can attempt to treat the problem.
After the ultrasound, I sat down with my NP (after getting dressed again, obviously) and she laid out the plan for the rest of this cycle. She renewed my prescription for Clomid, but decreased it to 50mg instead of 100mg to hopefully avoid more cramping. I have a follow up ultrasound scheduled for CD15 (the Saturday after Thanksgiving), and if I have a good looking follicle, I have the option of getting an hCG trigger shot so that I’ll ovulate, and then … we “get busy” and wait. A week later, I’ll have to go back to get my progesterone levels tested again, and that finishes out this cycle.
There is a lot to be excited about for this cycle. I’ll have a chance to see what is actually going on inside my ovaries on Saturday. We’ll find out if the Clomid is working the way it’s supposed to or not. We’ll have a plan in place for the next cycle if this one isn’t successful. We will be one step closer to having our family. All of these things are great for keeping me positive about this process. And if it doesn’t work out this time, I’m hoping the plan will make the disappointment sting a little less.
I have until Saturday afternoon to keep my hopes reasonably high, and I’m going to keep sending egg grow-y vibes to my ovaries so that we have something to work with on Saturday. Wish me luck :)
I was nervous all morning leading up to the appointment, but thankfully, the appointment itself wasn’t awful at all - I really liked the NP, and I got some very good information. The ultrasound was quick and painless. My ute looked good, however … I finally got the diagnosis that I’ve been worried about since we started TTC - it turns out I have PCOS. I’ve had a suspicion all along, despite being told that my blood work came back in normal ranges, so I wasn’t completely shocked by the diagnosis, but it still sucks. At least now I know for sure, and we can attempt to treat the problem.
After the ultrasound, I sat down with my NP (after getting dressed again, obviously) and she laid out the plan for the rest of this cycle. She renewed my prescription for Clomid, but decreased it to 50mg instead of 100mg to hopefully avoid more cramping. I have a follow up ultrasound scheduled for CD15 (the Saturday after Thanksgiving), and if I have a good looking follicle, I have the option of getting an hCG trigger shot so that I’ll ovulate, and then … we “get busy” and wait. A week later, I’ll have to go back to get my progesterone levels tested again, and that finishes out this cycle.
There is a lot to be excited about for this cycle. I’ll have a chance to see what is actually going on inside my ovaries on Saturday. We’ll find out if the Clomid is working the way it’s supposed to or not. We’ll have a plan in place for the next cycle if this one isn’t successful. We will be one step closer to having our family. All of these things are great for keeping me positive about this process. And if it doesn’t work out this time, I’m hoping the plan will make the disappointment sting a little less.
I have until Saturday afternoon to keep my hopes reasonably high, and I’m going to keep sending egg grow-y vibes to my ovaries so that we have something to work with on Saturday. Wish me luck :)
29 October 2012
Progress
It’s hard to believe, but we’re actually making some progress. Not immediate progress, but progress nonetheless.
I called the doctor’s office a couple of weeks ago with my monthly cycle check in with disappointing results to report - despite the increased dosage of Clomid, I didn’t have any positive OPK’s this cycle. My doctor was concerned about the intense cramping that I experienced, so I have officially been referred to a different practitioner who has a more hand on approach to treatment (she prefers to monitor patients who are on medication instead of having the patient self-monitor and report back, like I’ve been doing). Because I hadn’t gotten AF on my own and I was approaching CD40, the new Nurse Practitioner I’ll be seeing prescribed Provera (again) to help things along. On CD1, I have to call the doctor’s office so I can schedule an appointment and be seen by CD5. The purpose of the appointment is to get a baseline ultrasound and to check for possible cysts that could have been caused by the Clomid, and to have a general consult with the new practitioner.
I spent almost half an hour on the phone with the insurance company before calling the doctor’s office and agreeing to move forward with this new plan. I wanted to make sure everything would be covered, especially after the fiasco that was B’s appointment with the specialist that ended up being completely unnecessary and landed us a $400 out of pocket hospital bill for what should have been an office visit. A bill like that is not an option for us right now. I had looked over our policy book, and according to the book, everything up to and including IVF is covered, but there’s a $15,000 limit on fertility treatments (so far, I’ve used about $140 of that) - I figured it was probably safe to move forward, but insurance companies can be tricky, so I decided to be safe and call. After listening to the customer service representative talk in circles for a while and explaining and re-explaining the situation, I finally got an answer - as long as the appointment is billed as an office visit (and it will be, according to the nurse I talked to), we will only be responsible for our co-pay. Thank goodness. Now I just have to wait for my next cycle to start so we can get this process moving.
This journey is nothing like I had expected when we first started “trying” a year ago. It’s more disappointing and frustrating and exhausting than I could have ever imagined … but I’m not letting that stop me, because I know that the end result is going to be so worth it.
I called the doctor’s office a couple of weeks ago with my monthly cycle check in with disappointing results to report - despite the increased dosage of Clomid, I didn’t have any positive OPK’s this cycle. My doctor was concerned about the intense cramping that I experienced, so I have officially been referred to a different practitioner who has a more hand on approach to treatment (she prefers to monitor patients who are on medication instead of having the patient self-monitor and report back, like I’ve been doing). Because I hadn’t gotten AF on my own and I was approaching CD40, the new Nurse Practitioner I’ll be seeing prescribed Provera (again) to help things along. On CD1, I have to call the doctor’s office so I can schedule an appointment and be seen by CD5. The purpose of the appointment is to get a baseline ultrasound and to check for possible cysts that could have been caused by the Clomid, and to have a general consult with the new practitioner.
I spent almost half an hour on the phone with the insurance company before calling the doctor’s office and agreeing to move forward with this new plan. I wanted to make sure everything would be covered, especially after the fiasco that was B’s appointment with the specialist that ended up being completely unnecessary and landed us a $400 out of pocket hospital bill for what should have been an office visit. A bill like that is not an option for us right now. I had looked over our policy book, and according to the book, everything up to and including IVF is covered, but there’s a $15,000 limit on fertility treatments (so far, I’ve used about $140 of that) - I figured it was probably safe to move forward, but insurance companies can be tricky, so I decided to be safe and call. After listening to the customer service representative talk in circles for a while and explaining and re-explaining the situation, I finally got an answer - as long as the appointment is billed as an office visit (and it will be, according to the nurse I talked to), we will only be responsible for our co-pay. Thank goodness. Now I just have to wait for my next cycle to start so we can get this process moving.
This journey is nothing like I had expected when we first started “trying” a year ago. It’s more disappointing and frustrating and exhausting than I could have ever imagined … but I’m not letting that stop me, because I know that the end result is going to be so worth it.
05 October 2012
Oct-over It
Near the end of September, something came over me. I was getting really excited about October. I had a good feeling about this month and I was getting “signs” that got my hopes up - my fortune cookies told me a pleasant surprise was coming my way soon, and now is a good time to try something new, I had started a higher dose of Clomid. Things had to work, and my luck had to be changing …
And now, my optimism for October is going down the drain quickly, and we’re barely into the month.
Today is CD22. To this point, I’ve had negative OPK’s and my chart looks awful. I wish I still had some optimism left, but I just don’t. The only thing that seemed somewhat promising was the awful sharp cramps I would randomly feel. I thought they had to be a sign that my ovaries were trying to function properly. Because I still haven’t gotten my positive OPK, I’m beginning to think those pains are actually a sign that something is going wrong.
I am well aware that it’s possible to ovulate late in your cycle - even after CD22. I really really wish that this might be the case for me, but truthfully, the odds are against me. It is completely my fault. I haven’t been doing the things I should have been doing - eating right, continuing my yoga, getting real exercise … I’ve been lazy and unmotivated. I’m just too exhausted to do the things that I know I should be doing. It’s awful. I’m definitely stuck in a rut right now, and I need to dig my way out of it ASAP.
I haven’t completely decided yet, but I’m leaning toward an unmedicated cycle next time around. And I’m pretty sure I’m not going to chart my BBT. I will definitely still use my Cleadblue Easy Fertility Monitor though - I have to have some idea about whatrs going on at least. “They” always say that once you take a break from following procedure, things just fall into place. I’m skeptical of this - my body doesn’t typically function the way it’s supposed to, so odds are if I go unmedicated, I probably won’t ovulate at all, but you never know, right? I’m hoping that taking a break in November will lead to a turkey in my oven … maybe if I get back on track and fake some optimism, good things will happen … until they do happen, I think I’ll keep my fingers crossed.
And now, my optimism for October is going down the drain quickly, and we’re barely into the month.
Today is CD22. To this point, I’ve had negative OPK’s and my chart looks awful. I wish I still had some optimism left, but I just don’t. The only thing that seemed somewhat promising was the awful sharp cramps I would randomly feel. I thought they had to be a sign that my ovaries were trying to function properly. Because I still haven’t gotten my positive OPK, I’m beginning to think those pains are actually a sign that something is going wrong.
I am well aware that it’s possible to ovulate late in your cycle - even after CD22. I really really wish that this might be the case for me, but truthfully, the odds are against me. It is completely my fault. I haven’t been doing the things I should have been doing - eating right, continuing my yoga, getting real exercise … I’ve been lazy and unmotivated. I’m just too exhausted to do the things that I know I should be doing. It’s awful. I’m definitely stuck in a rut right now, and I need to dig my way out of it ASAP.
I haven’t completely decided yet, but I’m leaning toward an unmedicated cycle next time around. And I’m pretty sure I’m not going to chart my BBT. I will definitely still use my Cleadblue Easy Fertility Monitor though - I have to have some idea about whatrs going on at least. “They” always say that once you take a break from following procedure, things just fall into place. I’m skeptical of this - my body doesn’t typically function the way it’s supposed to, so odds are if I go unmedicated, I probably won’t ovulate at all, but you never know, right? I’m hoping that taking a break in November will lead to a turkey in my oven … maybe if I get back on track and fake some optimism, good things will happen … until they do happen, I think I’ll keep my fingers crossed.
30 August 2012
One Step Forward ...
And 1,000 steps back. Yeah, I’m exaggerating a little - it’s not that bad, but setbacks while TTC SUCK.
Yesterday was CD40. Not even remotely close to the longest I’ve gone between cycles (154 days), but I didn’t want to sit around waiting for something to happen. Thankfully the nurses in my doctor’s office are very helpful and prompt, and my doctor is super proactive with my treatment. I got a phone call maybe a half hour after sending an email to the doctor’s office from a very nice nurse asking for more details, and then she called back after about 15 minutes with a plan of action from the doctor.
I started taking Provera again tonight to hopefully induce another cycle, and I have 100mg of Clomid to take on CD5-9. I was really hoping that I wouldn’t have to start the Provera again, and I was especially hopeful after having AF show up on her own - early - in July. Unfortunately, that just wasn’t the case - stupid body.
Along with the medications, I’d like to get more into the yoga I kind of started practicing. Once in a while I’ll spend a half hour or so on it, but I need to start a regular routine. It might not make a huge difference, but it can’t hurt. Maybe combining all of these factors will get us a BFP in September … my fingers (and toes) are crossed.
Yesterday was CD40. Not even remotely close to the longest I’ve gone between cycles (154 days), but I didn’t want to sit around waiting for something to happen. Thankfully the nurses in my doctor’s office are very helpful and prompt, and my doctor is super proactive with my treatment. I got a phone call maybe a half hour after sending an email to the doctor’s office from a very nice nurse asking for more details, and then she called back after about 15 minutes with a plan of action from the doctor.
I started taking Provera again tonight to hopefully induce another cycle, and I have 100mg of Clomid to take on CD5-9. I was really hoping that I wouldn’t have to start the Provera again, and I was especially hopeful after having AF show up on her own - early - in July. Unfortunately, that just wasn’t the case - stupid body.
Along with the medications, I’d like to get more into the yoga I kind of started practicing. Once in a while I’ll spend a half hour or so on it, but I need to start a regular routine. It might not make a huge difference, but it can’t hurt. Maybe combining all of these factors will get us a BFP in September … my fingers (and toes) are crossed.
17 July 2012
Progesterone Level Results
When the results showed up on my online chart Monday morning, the first thing I did was a search on Doctor Google - you can’t give me information and not expect me to investigate on my own. Doctor Google gave me some interesting information (that I took with a grain of salt), but most of what I read online was kind of confirmed by the amazingly sweet OB/GYN nurse I talked to this afternoon.
My level was an 8.22, which is kind of on the low end for ovulation according to the nurse. I should have asked if what I learned from Doctor Google was true (most things I saw on Doctor Google said that above a 5 means you ovulated, 10 is preferred). I’m sure there are other questions I should have asked also. I guess I can just write them down and ask them the next time around (because odds are, there probably will be a “next time”).
The doctor looked over my results and thought it looked promising enough I guess, because the nurse said the notations stated if I started a new cycle, then we would go with the 50mg of Clomid again, as well as the monitoring and reporting that I did this time around. Before I hung up, the nurse said “I hope you’re pregnant! Have a great day!” - I really appreciated that :). So I guess I’m going to go along with my original plan of waiting for AF next week and testing if she doesn’t show up. Fun times :).
My level was an 8.22, which is kind of on the low end for ovulation according to the nurse. I should have asked if what I learned from Doctor Google was true (most things I saw on Doctor Google said that above a 5 means you ovulated, 10 is preferred). I’m sure there are other questions I should have asked also. I guess I can just write them down and ask them the next time around (because odds are, there probably will be a “next time”).
The doctor looked over my results and thought it looked promising enough I guess, because the nurse said the notations stated if I started a new cycle, then we would go with the 50mg of Clomid again, as well as the monitoring and reporting that I did this time around. Before I hung up, the nurse said “I hope you’re pregnant! Have a great day!” - I really appreciated that :). So I guess I’m going to go along with my original plan of waiting for AF next week and testing if she doesn’t show up. Fun times :).
02 July 2012
Medicated
Now that I’ve finished taking the Provera and Clomid, I thought I’d take some time to post about my experiences with these particular medications.
As far as side effects go, I feel like I only experienced very mild ones with the Provera. It pretty much just felt like regular PMS symptoms - moody/emotional, bloated, low energy … but nothing too drastic, which was a relief. I had read online that AF typically shows up 5-10 days after the last dose of Provera, and I was right on schedule at 6 days. I reacted really strongly to the medication - probably a good thing considering it had been so long in between cycles. It made for a very uncomfortable week though :(.
On CD5, I started taking the Clomid. I was really nervous about it because I have a co-worker who had awful reactions to the medication, and I had read a lot of the stories that pop up online while searching for information about Clomid. Because of some of the side effects (blurred vision, hot flashes, etc), I decided the best time for me to take the meds was before bed, and that worked out really well for me. If I did experience any side effects, I didn’t notice them.
The instructions that I was given when my OB/GYN gave me the Clomid prescription stated that ovulation should occur between CD14 and CD19 (5-10 days after completing the Clomid). Today I am on CD13 and my ovulation sticks have been negative (I started on CD10 just to get in the habit - I’m using the lovely cheapies from Amazon, so it doesn’t really matter if I go through a few extra). I’m hopeful that some time this week, an eggie will decide it’s ready for take off. I’ve penciled in some BD time for the next week to hopefully catch the hypothetical egg. And after that … we wait.
If I do ovulate, I have to call the doctor’s office to inform them and then I’ll have to set up an appointment to check my progesterone levels. I’m hoping that I won’t need to go through another round of medications (and that this is our cycle … that would be awesome) - even though I didn’t have terrible experiences, I also don’t like being on medication so … I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
As far as side effects go, I feel like I only experienced very mild ones with the Provera. It pretty much just felt like regular PMS symptoms - moody/emotional, bloated, low energy … but nothing too drastic, which was a relief. I had read online that AF typically shows up 5-10 days after the last dose of Provera, and I was right on schedule at 6 days. I reacted really strongly to the medication - probably a good thing considering it had been so long in between cycles. It made for a very uncomfortable week though :(.
On CD5, I started taking the Clomid. I was really nervous about it because I have a co-worker who had awful reactions to the medication, and I had read a lot of the stories that pop up online while searching for information about Clomid. Because of some of the side effects (blurred vision, hot flashes, etc), I decided the best time for me to take the meds was before bed, and that worked out really well for me. If I did experience any side effects, I didn’t notice them.
The instructions that I was given when my OB/GYN gave me the Clomid prescription stated that ovulation should occur between CD14 and CD19 (5-10 days after completing the Clomid). Today I am on CD13 and my ovulation sticks have been negative (I started on CD10 just to get in the habit - I’m using the lovely cheapies from Amazon, so it doesn’t really matter if I go through a few extra). I’m hopeful that some time this week, an eggie will decide it’s ready for take off. I’ve penciled in some BD time for the next week to hopefully catch the hypothetical egg. And after that … we wait.
If I do ovulate, I have to call the doctor’s office to inform them and then I’ll have to set up an appointment to check my progesterone levels. I’m hoping that I won’t need to go through another round of medications (and that this is our cycle … that would be awesome) - even though I didn’t have terrible experiences, I also don’t like being on medication so … I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
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