Post-Appointment Update Extravaganza

I promised I'd come back to update about our consult with the head RE, and look at me - I'm following through!  It may have taken longer than I planned, but it's the thought that counts, right?

I thought our consult went pretty well overall.  It's a good thing B was there to join me in the meeting, because a lot of it revolved around updating our health histories and getting to know what testing and treatments we had done so far.  The nurse who we met with first was an interesting character.  She was very energetic and quirky ... she kind of reminded me of a Kristen Wiig-esque character from Saturday Night Live - obviously I thought she was great.  After going over my extensive list of treatments, the focus turned to B's testing, and we actually heard something new.  B saw a specialist last summer because my clinic had issues with his SA results, but the specialist said the results he saw didn't concern him, and that was it.  But at this latest appointment, both the nurse and the RE mentioned a notation about a varicocele.  We had no idea what they were talking about because it had been a year since he saw the specialist, but he didn't remember the doctor saying anything about varicocele.  I'm not sure when we'll get further clarification, so mostly the new information just confused us (mosty me) a little more.

Aside from that little surprise, we didn't really get a lot of information from the RE, but considering all she had to go off of was our past treatment information, that was expected.  We won't know our plan of action moving forward until we have some re-tests done, but the RE did mention some possibilities.  She was surprised that we didn't exhuast our options with the Letrozole (I only tried the lowest dose before I was moved to the Clomid/Follistim combo deal), so that's something that we'll probably revisit in hopes of getting better results.  She would rather have us exhaust all of our other options before moving on to the more aggressive treatments (which we - and our bank account and my tummy - really appreciate, because injectables are hella expensive, guys.  And stabbing a needle into your own tummy fat is no picnic).  Also, she was surprised that we even did a Clomid/Follistim combination - the "mother clinic" (that's what the nurse and RE call it - like the mothership of aliens) doesn't combine other medications with the injectables, they just start the injectables earlier in the cycle to hopefully boost egg growth.  It was pretty interesting to hear about what the main RE would do differently, and I'm looking forward to working with her.  One of my favorite things that they told us was that they like to change things up if they notice that they aren't working, rather than spinning our wheels and trying the same thing over and over, wasting time.  I'm hoping that this will keep us from feeling so stuck.

At the end of the appointment, I was given a shiny new Clinic Fertility Services folder packed full of information about their pricing for different procedures and testing (yep, that's right, this clinic actually wants us to know what the approximate costs of everything will be.  Amazing right??), general information about IF, a list of grants available for IVF (which appears to be outdated.  I checked out all of the websites, and a few of them have been inactive for a couple years) and copies of our insurance coverage and tests ordered.  I'm planning on starting a new folder o' stuff to keep everything together, and I'll close out my folder from my last clinic (that I didn't do a very good job of keeping updated).

The biggest drawback to this switch is that all of the appointments will take place at the mother clinic, which is located within the hospital, and of course the hospital is located about an hour away.  Getting to our frequent appointments was difficult enough, and now with the clinic being farther away and crazy work schedules coming our way (I'm back to the split shift soon, and B has a few work trips coming up) things are really going to get difficult.  It's looking like we'll continue our break through September, then hopefully get back to treatments and appointments by October.  More bumps in the road, but hopefully this new RE and clinic will get us closer to the light at the end of the  tunnel.

Good News, Bad News

I've been meaning to update for a while, but life has been so busy lately (isn't that always the case?  I need a vacation).  I figured the best way to do this update was a Good News/Bad News list, because that's how things have been going lately.

Good News - it appears as though insurance has covered more of my HSG than we had originally expected.  After what felt like a million phone calls (and several customer service representatives), I was told by a financial coordinator through the clinic and an insurance representative that the procedure itself would cost $1,501 and we would be responsible to cover the rest of my deductible and then 20% of the remaining cost, for a grand total of $700+.  Ouch.  But on July 24th, I got an excited text and email from B with our insurance explanation of benefits attached - it appears as though we are only going to be charged the $20 copay that accompanies office visits at our clinic.  That's a major savings, which our bank account greatly appreciates.  It's not going to last long of course, but we'll take what we can get!

Bad News - AF arrived early at 5dpo, almost 2 weeks ago.  Yeah ... that sucked.  I noticed some spotting and just knew.  Wednesday morning (July 24) - the day I was supposed to get my progesterone level tested - AF was here in full force.  My progesterone results came back really low, indicating I didn't ovulate (which I totally don't understand - I had a 19mm follicle and I gave myself a trigger shot ... how did I not ovulate?), and general suck ensued (500 points if you just did the How I Met Your Mother salute to General Suck).  I had to have my CD3 ultrasound with a different doctor, and it was soooo awkward.  First of all, it was a dude, which is not my favorite.  Second, I felt like he wasn't really listening to me (we actually had a debate about what cycle day I was on, as if I didn't know how many days I had been bleeding!).  And he raised the exam table way into the air rather than sitting down at a lower level for the exam, so when he was done, I couldn't sit up and regain a teensy bit of modesty until he lowered the stupid table down.  Nothing like waiting for the table to slowly lower back to the ground with my legs spread and my hooha hanging out.  Not my favorite experience.  I really hope that I never have to see him again.

Good News - I have an appointment with the head RE at my clinic tomorrow, which will hopefully get us more answers.  The physician I usually see suggested I make an appointment with this RE, although I'm not entirely sure what the purpose of the appointment is, to be honest.  All I know is that the consult is supposed to be about an hour long, and I'll probably bring B back with me.  I want to have a second set of ears so that we can be sure to take in all the information we can get.  I'm guessing we'll discuss the last year's worth of treatments and maybe talk about a plan moving forward, but I don't really know.  I guess I'll find out tomorrow :).

Mixed Message News - When we realized that last cycle didn't work out, I was told that we had 2 options - go ahead with an increased dose of injections and try again, or take a break for a cycle, chat with the head RE, and then decide where to go from there.  After we talked about it and mapped out important dates, we figured the timing probably wouldn't work out.  Even though I hate the idea of losing another month, I know it was our best choice, and it hasn't been too bad - it's nice to have a break from giving injections, taking pills, visiting my pal the vag cam, and peeing on sticks.

Good News - MTV did something pretty awesome - huge shock right?  Their program True Life finally focused on something important with the episode "True Life:  I'm Desperate to Have a Baby."  (Yes, I know they've covered topics like addiction, which is also important, but one of their newest episodes is called "True Life:  I'm Too Beautiful."  Give me a break.)  It followed 2 couples who were struggling with infertility and documented their efforts to get pregnant via IVF.  It is definitely worth a watch.

Get More: True Life, Full Episodes

So that's the most recent update.  I'm hoping to be back tomorrow with all of the details from our meeting with the RE, and I have a couple of drafts that are burning a hole in my brain that will hopefully be published soon.

Upbeat

Monday was my second follicle check of this cycle (on CD14), and I left my clinic feeling awesome - that almost never happens.  Everything has come back so much stronger than the same point of precious cycles, and that, my friends, is finally some forward progress.  I give credit to my new BFF.

I ended up surviving the Follistim injections, and it really was not as bad as I had imagined it would be - I really didn't even feel the needle, and after the first couple, it didn't even phase me anymore.  Anyway, all of those injections paid off, and the prize so far ... was another injection.  But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Last Thursday was follicle check number 1 (CD10).  I had a leftover 23mm monster cyst (it was 13mm on CD1), but otherwise things looked decent.  The first thing I noticed when I walked into the ultrasound exam room was that they had a new exam chair, which was beyond exciting for me - definitely a sign that I spend too much time there.  I visited the vampires in the lab so they could test my estradiol (the stupid hormone that always fucks everything up), and my RE called with the results that night - 210, the highest I've ever shown.  Booyah!

Saturday, I had another trip to the lab to have my estradiol tested.  Unfortunately, the lab didn't get my results entered as quickly as they were supposed to, so I got a call Saturday night letting me know that I would get the results on Sunday, and I was told to take another dose of Follistim that night.  I didn't do that though, because we didn't get home until late - we were celebrating the first birthday of my friend's adorable baby girl and enjoying a mini college reunion.  It was so nice to catch up with my friends - much needed.

Sunday morning, the results phone call wasn't as great as I had hoped - my estradiol was only up to 216, so I had to keep my appointment that was set for Monday afternoon, and wait to trigger until I was given the okay.  I also ended up giving myself that last Follistim shot.

On Monday, I was supposed to start in the lab to get my estradiol tested again, but I wasn't able to get there early enough and the lab was a zoo, so I decided I'd just finish up there instead.  Like I mentioned in the opening, my second follicle check was really good - triple layer utey lining, the monster cyst was gone, and I had 2 follicles, 19mm and 15mm.  My RE's outlook was very positive, and she said that we would determine when I should trigger after my estradiol results came back the next day.

Finally, on Tuesday morning, I was just finishing up our "morning meeting" at work when I felt my phone ring (yes, I answered my personal phone at work, which is totally against policy.  And I don't care, because it was an important phone call).  My estradiol came back at 264, so I was told to give myself the trigger injection (my prize!) later on Tuesday, have some scheduled intimate time with my hubster (scheduled sex is such a turn on ... not), and then go in next Wednesday for a progesterone test.  After that, it's the long wait until we find out if we caught the egg.

So that gets us updated to today ... I'm feeling cautiously hopeful - I don't want to get my hopes up, but it's hard not to when things seem to be going so well.  I guess we'll find out in a couple of weeks if all of this worked out.

Overwhelmed

I apologize in advance if this post makes no sense - my brain is all kinds of jumbled right now.  Also, be warned that this post is pretty much all about AF, so if you want to avoid a TMI-fest, move on now.

Last weekend, I noticed that I had started spotting, which was absolutely amazing to me - it's been so long since I've started AF without the help of Provera.  On Monday night, the spotting was a little heavier, and by mid-day Tuesday, I was certain that AF had finally arrived - it definitely seemed like a full flow.  I called the clinic, and because of a long workday on Wednesday and the holiday on Thursday (which would be CD3, when I typically have the baseline), it was decided that I would come in for the last appointment on Tuesday (on CD1) for my baseline ultrasound.  My ultrasound came back normal, I talked with a nurse about setting up an appointment for my HSG, and my RE gave me a lot of information about injectables, because I'm starting those this cycle (holy shit).  It was a lot of information to take in, and I'm surprised I didn't completely break down when we got to the car.  Instead of turning into a sobbing mess, I turned to my BFF the Internet for support from my friends who have gone through or are currently going through infertility treatments, and to research the least expensive supplier of injectables.  (Spoiler Alert:  injectables are expensive everywhere.  The best choice I found was Walgreen's Specialty - after enrolling in the Design Rx program, the cost will come to $254.  My second choice was Freedom Fertility, at $256.)

On Wednesday, I got a call from one of the nurses letting me know when my HSG had been scheduled (next Wednesday at 10:45), and I used that opportunity to ask about my cycle being wonky.  I explained that I was only spotting again, that I only briefly had full flow, and that I was confused about what was happening.  She told me that sometimes it's normal for AF to start, then stop, then start again, so I should just wait it out, and if there was no increase by Friday, give them a call again to figure out what's next.

Because I am clearly cursed, there was no change over the last couple of days.  Still just spotting, and barely that.  I called this morning to talk to a nurse, and she said just go ahead with things as planned (although now the medications will all be pushed back a day).  So that was the plan ... until I got a phone call from my clinic this afternoon.  She said that my RE has requested a blood pregnancy test to make sure that all of our bases are covered (even though the odds of that being the cause of this stupid, semi-non-existent AF are slim to none).  Unless I hitchhike, that's going to have to wait until tomorrow.

When we started with treatments over a year ago, I knew that things weren't going to be easy.  What I didn't expect was that things would become so damn complicated.  I'm ready for everything to fall into place ... any day now would be perfect.

Roller Coaster

I really would like to be done with this stupid emotional roller coaster now.

Thursday, I was having an awesome day until I got the phone call.  I spent Friday crying off and on all day, completely devastated.  Saturday's appointment had me hopeful again - follicles were more developed on CD14 than in previous cycles, and I had lovely triple layer lining.  And then ... I woke up this morning, and although I haven't gotten the official word from my doctor's office, I'm pretty sure this cycle is a bust.  My E2 came back at a whoppin' 19.  Nearly nothing.  For two 12mm follicles.  I'm crushed.  I'm expecting a call from the clinic tomorrow to make plans for what comes next.  Yesterday, the plan was to come in for another date with the vag cam if my E2 was decent, and if it was a little low, the appointment would be bumped to Tuesday.  With it coming back so low it's barely on the charts, I don't know what the plan will be, and it sucks.

I spent an hour this morning laying in bed consulting Dr. Google, which didn't help very much.  I was hoping maybe somewhere I would find someone with a similar experience saying they added in new meds mid-cycle that helped.  Or maybe that they started taking a supplement that improved their E2.  I didn't find those things, and now I have to wait until tomorrow morning to find out where my life is going this week.

B has been such a rock star husband through a lot of this, and I don't tell him that enough.  He's becoming really good at saying the right things at the right time (which never really was his forte before).  I'm also lucky enough to have an amazing friend who I can vent my frustrations to, knowing that she understands 100% and she's not going to say something stupid, like "just relax."  I'm soooo looking forward to our Skype date later this week - I need some perspective.

To finish this off, I'm sharing this video that I came across a while back.  I have heard pretty much every single one of these gems a million times in the last 2 years, and it never stops being annoying.


P.S.  I think I need to send this video and this link about IF etiquette to so many people I know (like my mom).  It's great information.

Quickie

I have a few more substantial drafts simmering on the back-burner, but I haven't had the time or motivation to actually finish and publish them yet.  Hopefully those will be ready soon, but in the meantime, I have a quick TTC update.

Wednesday afternoon, I had my baseline ultrasound (it was CD4) and I was given the all clear, allowing me to start the Letrozole right away.  On her way out of the exam room, my RE asked how I was doing on the Metformin, which really confused me - I've never been on Metformin.  After I explained that to her, she said that if this cycle doesn't work out, then next cycle we'll add Metformin to the cocktail, and that was the end of the appointment.  Tonight will be my last dose of the Letrozole, and so far I haven't noticed much - maybe a few twinges here and there ... I don't know.  I really hope that I have a decent reaction to the Letrozole - this is getting exhausting.  I just want things to work out for once.

Aside from that, it's been a sad week - a close friend of mine got some really devastating news at the beginning of the week, and my heart hurts for her.  If you could spend a minute to send prayers or vibes or whatever you're into, it would be very much appreciated.  <3

Stuck

I think that's the best way to describe how I've been feeling lately.

I think in my last TTC update (which was posted forever ago), I was dealing with a canceled cycle.  And that canceled cycle lasted 65 days.  This time around, I took 150mg of Clomid, which helped me grow 2 nice looking follicles.  On CD12, they were 15.9mm and 15.3mm.  But then my estradiol results came in super low.  I went back on CD16 in the hopes that my estradiol had increased, but of course, that wasn't the case.  Another canceled cycle to add to the list.  So now I'm in a different kind of 2 week wait - the one were I sit around waiting until I can call and ask for my Provera prescription (because it's very unlikely that AF is going to show up naturally), and then we can move onto the next cycle.  I'm looking forward to the next cycle - the plan is to try Femara this time, and I'm really hoping that it works out better than the Clomid.

I've been really stuck at work too (which is a topic that I try to avoid bringing up around here).  I've barely been tolerating my job for a while, but I've finally come to accept that this job is never going to be satisfying to me, I'm never going to advance, and I'm done trying to fight to make this job something it's not.  I'm starting to feel like my brain is mush-ifying.  A while back, I was seriously looking into going back to school for my Master's degree, but then decided to put it off.  It's expensive, we have a bunch of student loans that need to be paid off, it's time consuming, and we were just starting to try to get pregnant, so the timing wasn't right.  And now, with the fertility treatments, it's even less of an option - the timing isn't right again, so of course this is the time that I'd start thinking about going back to school again.  I'm hoping that I'll be able to find some kind of alternative to appeal to my academic side that's a bit less expensive, that way I can exercise my brain without breaking the bank.  We'll see what happens.

So yeah, that's what's been going on lately.  Fun times :)

27

Yesterday was my 27th birthday, and even though I’m not a fan of getting older, it was one of my favorite birthdays (number one is my 25th - it wasn’t really even because we did anything special, but we were in Atlanta on our delayed honeymoon, and it was just really nice to be on vacation with my hubster on my birthday).

B really spoiled me in the gift department this year. He bought us tickets to see Wicked, The Sims 3: University Life expansion pack, and - the ice cream on the cake - an iPad mini and a keyboard case. Seriously - so spoiled. Coming up with gift ideas for his birthday this June is going to be exponentially more difficult (which sucks, because buying B gifts is super difficult in the first place). Even though I am a grown-ass woman, I was also spoiled by my mommy. I sent her links to iPad cases as a joke, and she ended up buying me my favorite one. I’m seriously so lucky to have such an amazing family.

B and I were able to go out to lunch together yesterday - he took a midday break to take me to the clinic for a blood draw (blood pregnancy test before being prescribed Provera - negative, obviously). I love spending time with him, so it was really special to spend a little extra time with him.

After I got home from the clinic, the internet gave me a birthday gift too. The 98th episode of The Lizzie Bennet Diaries was posted on YouTube, and *spoiler alert* Lizzie and Darcy kissed. Ahhhh! It was great. I loved reading Pride and Prejudice in high school (I’ve read it probably 3 or 4 times by now, not including reading the trade of the Marvel comic adaptation), so I became very fond of the web series after only a couple of episodes. The Lizzie Bennet Diaries is such an awesome web series - the adaptation of the classic story into a modern, web based story is done so well … I highly recommend it. (Thanks to Felicia Day for featuring LBD on The Flog and turning me into an obsessed fangirl.)

One of the final highlights of my birthday was something that was kind of dumb, but it’s the little things that make me happy. I was bumped up to level 27 on The Simpsons: Tapped Out on my 27th birthday (justju21 if you want to add another neighbor-eeno). Pretty cool. :)

So yeah, that’s what’s been happening around here lately (along with a whole lotta nothing). I’ve had the urge to write lately, but I haven’t had anything to say. Hopefully something exciting comes up soon so I can get back to regular updates.

Canceled

This cycle was officially canceled on CD22 (last Friday).  I went in Friday morning for a blood draw to check on my estradiol level - it was low on CD13, still low on CD16, slightly higher on CD18, and then plummeted again on CD22.  It never broke 100, which was definitely not a good sign.  My wimpy E2 has been the bane of my existence for a few months now.  I actually remembered to ask my NP if there was anything that could be done to help it improve, but she said the only way to help it would be to increase my Clomid dose next round and hope that my follicles grow faster.  Yay.

So now we’re pretty much back to square one, which totally sucks.  I have to admit, I wasn’t really feeling this cycle - it just didn’t feel the same as the ones when I actually did ovulate.  I was super surprised at my mid-cycle scans when we saw 2 growing follicles - I wasn’t expecting to see any good one, but of course they had to fizzle out and be disappointing, as usual.  At this point, I’m surprised when something good happens rather than the opposite.

Regardless of my low expectations, I’m still bummed that this cycle was such a waste.  We’re getting down to the wire - if I have a cycle in March, it will be our last chance to have a baby in 2013.

I like even numbers better anyway … :)

Frustrated

With everything that’s going on right now, I could really use a win.  Unfortunately, I don’t see that happening any time soon.

On Saturday, B took our Prius to the dealership because we had gotten some recall notices.  Of course they found $1,200 worth of things that needed to be fixed up, including a $400 water pump that needed to be fixed immediately.  Awesome.  (The rest of that stuff includes some stupid things like replacing the spark plugs, so we’re going to put that off for a little while.)  As much as I love our Prius, I’m really tempted to just sell it.  I don’t want to deal with paying a bunch of money for all of that junk, we only use it on the weekends because B has a company car and I don’t drive … we could use the extra money from our car payment every month to pay student loans or improve the house … We’ll see what ends up happening with it.

After B finally got home from the dealership in his rental car, we took our cat to the vet.  She had a hernia on her left side from the day we picked her up from the humane society, and there was a new lump that had formed in front of the prior one, which worried us.  Our plan was for her to have surgery to have these problems fixed - she was dropped off Monday night, had surgery Tuesday afternoon, and she came home yesterday afternoon.  The surgery was more complicated than they had expected (both lumps were indeed hernias, but there’s a third that goes into her chest cavity.  It’s blocked off by some connective tissue that acts as a fat storage area, so we shouldn’t have to worry about it, but it’s something for us to keep in mind if she ever starts acting “off.”  Some of the connective fatty tissue was removed from the 2 hernias on her left side.)  She looks so sad and pathetic.  (They didn’t clean her up very well post-op, so she’s going to need a sponge bath eventually.  Maybe when she’s feeling a little better in a few days.)



I haven’t seen her eat or drink anything since she came home, but she’s used the litter box, so I guess that’s a good sign.  I think the cone on her head is part of why she’s so mopey.  It can’t be fun.  She’s only had a partial dose of her pain medication - she fought really hard when I tried to give her a dose last night.  The girl hates medicine.  We have to take her back to the vet in a week and a half to have the staples removed, so I’m sure that will be a fun adventure also.

Before we picked the cat up from the vet’s office yesterday, we went to my clinic for my mid-cycle follicle scan.  This time, there were 2 follicles, but they were only 13mm and 12mm (on CD13).  I have another ultrasound appointment on Saturday (CD16).  I’m not sure how that’s going to go though, because the results from my E2 draw yesterday SUCKED.  We were looking for a 200 range, and my result was 56.  I’m so frustrated.  I really thought that being on the double dose of Clomid was going to make this cycle better.  Wrong again.  Urgh.  Hopefully I’ll have a chance to talk to my NP before the appointment on Saturday and we can figure out a way to help those numbers improve (if that’s even possible).

I kind of feel bad that I’m not in a very good mood on Valentine’s day.  I didn’t do anything special for either of my classes - I didn’t have the energy.  B and I don’t have anything too crazy planned for tonight either - we decided our lunch out yesterday would count as our special Valentine’s dinner, and we text messaged each other funny Valentine cards this afternoon - good enough for me.

Hopefully things start getting better soon … that would be nice.

Happenings

Project 365 - I decided to start taking a photo a day to help with my resolution to take more pictures.  I’ve been using the Project 365 iPhone app to keep myself on track.  I started out doing really well, but after a week or so, I started slacking (no surprise there).  It’s hard to remember to take a picture every single day, and some days, there’s really nothing photo worthy going on - it’s a challenge.  We’ll see how long I manage to stick with this project.

The Simpsons: Tapped Out - I am addicted to this game.  B and I started playing at the same time, and even though this isn’t a competitive game, I can’t help but check in on B’s progress (and get jealous when he’s doing better than I am).  Typically, he’s ahead of me in XP and levels up before I do, and I’m ahead in tasks and buildings.  (If you play the game and want to add another friend, my username is JustJu21)

TTC - It’s looking like this is going to be another long cycle that will only end with the help of medication.  Boo.  I’m going to call my NP’s office Monday morning to update her on things, and I’ll probably get another prescription for Provera and then move onto my 3rd monitored Clomid cycle.  As much as I’m glad to have the added insight provided by the monitored cycles, it’s kind of a pain in the ass.  Please, please, please ute and ovaries … do your damn job already!

Things have been quite mellow around here lately for the most part, which is fine with me.  A little more progress in the TTC department would be appreciated, but otherwise, I can’t complain.

Kicking off the New Year

So far, 2013 has not been too great.

On New Year’s Eve, I went for my 3rd estradiol draw in a span of 5 days, and my NP called with my results a few hours later - it was even lower than my first draw - the follicle that we thought would lead to ovulation was no good.  Another disappointment.  Next cycle will be the same routine of ultrasounds and blood draws. My Clomid dosage is being increased to 100mg this time around.  We’ll see if that’s what I need.

On New Year’s Day, B woke up and noticed our house was extra cold - the furnace broke.  We thought it was just the ignitor - we have to replace it every couple of years - but we were wrong.  After calling a company that had emergency service, we found out that the problem was actually with the heat exchange, aka much more difficult and expensive to fix than an ignitor.  Of course.  So we were without real heat all day on New Year’s Day, with only 2 small personal heaters and one larger personal heater (and plenty of layers and blankets) to keep us warm.  Luckily, the repairmen were able to get the part that we needed fairly quickly, so our furnace was fixed yesterday morning (thank goodness).  The estimate for the bill was $200-500 (we weren’t billed right away because the part that was replaced should be partially covered under a limited warrantee or something like that) - I’m not looking forward to getting that bill in the mail.

To top it all off, I had to go back to work yesterday after 13 glorious days off, and I walked into the same drama and bad attitudes that I left 2 weeks ago.  I was hoping to have a fresh start with the new year - that was wishful thinking.  I’m going to try and stress less about the things that are beyond my control (like the behavior of my co-workers, boss, and students) … maybe I can bring about the change that I desperately need in my work situation.  At the very least, I can look forward to a vacation day in a few weeks.

This year is not starting out the way I hoped it would - that just means it can only get better from here … right?!

Bust

I didn’t even make it to my test date.  Stupid AF decided to show up early - ugh.  I called my NP’s office right after I got done with work this morning, and I’m assuming I’ll get a call back at some point today to set up a CD3 baseline ultrasound, and then I’ll start the whole process over again.  Yay.

Ugh, I really was hoping that this was it.  On to the next …

Today is 6DPO.  I think.

Last week on Wednesday and Thursday, my CBEFM did something amazing - it gave me a peak reading.  I had positive OPK’s those days as well.  Words can’t even describe how shocking that was to me.  I went in to the clinic on Thursday for the hCG trigger just to be sure … my fingers are crossed.

My current plan is to test on the 13th (that should be long enough for all of the trigger to be out of my system).  I’m hoping the next week goes quickly.  I have some things planned to keep me busy - Friday night will be our 6th consecutive game night held at our house, and my sister-in-law and a good friend are coming up to do some holiday baking this weekend.  At the very least, the next few days should pass quickly … the four days after that will be the worst.

As far as my intuition goes … I have no inkling either way.  Maybe after another few days it’ll kick in.

Blood Work 2.0

I got the call from my NP’s office this morning - my estradiol level was pretty low (103 - it needed to be closer to 300).  Womp womp.

Another e2 test was ordered for today.  This time I was able to have it done at my local clinic, so B didn’t have to take more time off to take me to yet another appointment.  I’m so glad it worked out that way - I feel really bad when he misses work for me.

Anyway, the nurse at the clinic had to take the blood from the same side as it was taken on Saturday (lefty) because the vein on my right side wasn’t cooperating.  I already had a lovely looking bruise in the crease of my elbow - it’s going to be even more glorious later tonight.

I’m not feeling as optimistic about this cycle as I was on Saturday.  I have a feeling that the results of this blood test will come back lower than it was before.  Maybe the next cycle will be more successful - it has to be, right?!  (I know the answer is no, it doesn’t have to be … but I’m trying not to think negative thoughts)  This process is really taking a toll on me lately - I need it to be over soon, but I’m not willing to give up.