I think that's the best way to describe how I've been feeling lately.
I think in my last TTC update (which was posted forever ago), I was dealing with a canceled cycle. And that canceled cycle lasted 65 days. This time around, I took 150mg of Clomid, which helped me grow 2 nice looking follicles. On CD12, they were 15.9mm and 15.3mm. But then my estradiol results came in super low. I went back on CD16 in the hopes that my estradiol had increased, but of course, that wasn't the case. Another canceled cycle to add to the list. So now I'm in a different kind of 2 week wait - the one were I sit around waiting until I can call and ask for my Provera prescription (because it's very unlikely that AF is going to show up naturally), and then we can move onto the next cycle. I'm looking forward to the next cycle - the plan is to try Femara this time, and I'm really hoping that it works out better than the Clomid.
I've been really stuck at work too (which is a topic that I try to avoid bringing up around here). I've barely been tolerating my job for a while, but I've finally come to accept that this job is never going to be satisfying to me, I'm never going to advance, and I'm done trying to fight to make this job something it's not. I'm starting to feel like my brain is mush-ifying. A while back, I was seriously looking into going back to school for my Master's degree, but then decided to put it off. It's expensive, we have a bunch of student loans that need to be paid off, it's time consuming, and we were just starting to try to get pregnant, so the timing wasn't right. And now, with the fertility treatments, it's even less of an option - the timing isn't right again, so of course this is the time that I'd start thinking about going back to school again. I'm hoping that I'll be able to find some kind of alternative to appeal to my academic side that's a bit less expensive, that way I can exercise my brain without breaking the bank. We'll see what happens.
So yeah, that's what's been going on lately. Fun times :)
