With the new year approaching, it's about time that I reflect on the past year, and make plans for the next.
I am my own worst critic when it comes to evaluating how I did with my goals and resolutions. I usually think I did a terrible job, but when I actually step back and look at them honestly, it turns out I didn't do half bad. My goals for 2013 were pretty much all rollovers from 2012 because I didn't really focus well on my goals and failed to follow through (one of my top priority goals, ironically enough). I know that a major part of my focusing problem has been that my goals and resolutions have always been hard to measure. I'm hoping to change that a bit this year.
Goals for 2014:
- Read 1 book/month, and track it on Goodreads.
- Make healthier choices most of the time (80% healthy, 20% not so much). This means balanced meals with smaller portions, less junk, drinking more water, attempting yoga videos 3x a week, and tracking activity on Wii Fit U.
- Set up a cleaning routine, get organized, and stick with it.
- Start a regular blogging schedule (or at least try to post a little more frequently). Also, comment more on other bloggers' posts.
- Save more, spend less. Get impulse purchases under control, plan meals weekly, use coupons, and shop sales.
- Write more - pen and paper style. Spend more time being creative.
- Start (and finish) a scrapbook - or several. I know I want to tackle a family yearbook, a mini-album featuring special Christmas ornaments, and I should probably get our wedding pictures arranged nicely somewhere too (it's only been 3.5 years ...). Possibly make albums for our vacations, and work on my book about our house.
- Use a photo-a-day app, and keep up (at least 4 pictures/week). Take more pictures with B. Get pictures printed once a month for scrapping or hanging in frames.
- Spend quality time with B - unplugged (or mostly unplugged).
- Learn something new. New recipe, new craft, new skill - whatever.
So there they are ... kind of a lot of goals, but I'm hoping I can manage. I think it will help that I'll have a good friend supporting me and keeping me accountable with frequent check-ins. I need that.
2013 had a few highs and a lot of lows - I'm more than ready to move on to better things. Please, 2014, be kind to us.
31 December 2013
15 December 2013
Nope.
It didn't work.
Beta came back at less than 1, meaning no perfectly timed anniversary baby, no success on our first IUI, no good luck whatsoever in our household. I knew it was coming, and I've been trying to brush it off like no big deal, but it hurts. Like a crying under my blanket fort trying my best to be quiet and not wake up B kind of hurt. I didn't think it would be this bad, but I'm so tired of wanting something that feels so far out of reach. It's exhausting.
The rest of December and early January are going to be particularly busy for B, so we'll be taking the next cycle (whenever that starts) off, and trying another IUI late January. It's probably for the best that we're taking a short break, but we just finished a break, and now we're losing one more month. I wish this would get easier, but I just don't see that happening.
Next year will be better, right? It can't really get much worse.
Beta came back at less than 1, meaning no perfectly timed anniversary baby, no success on our first IUI, no good luck whatsoever in our household. I knew it was coming, and I've been trying to brush it off like no big deal, but it hurts. Like a crying under my blanket fort trying my best to be quiet and not wake up B kind of hurt. I didn't think it would be this bad, but I'm so tired of wanting something that feels so far out of reach. It's exhausting.
The rest of December and early January are going to be particularly busy for B, so we'll be taking the next cycle (whenever that starts) off, and trying another IUI late January. It's probably for the best that we're taking a short break, but we just finished a break, and now we're losing one more month. I wish this would get easier, but I just don't see that happening.
Next year will be better, right? It can't really get much worse.
11 December 2013
Just a Few More Days
I'm finally in the last few days of the 2 week wait - after this weekend, we'll know if we had any success with our first IUI. I've had a fairly positive outlook on this IUI for the most part, but today, with just a few more days until the beta, I have to say - I really don't know if it worked. Obviously it's still pretty early (9DPO today), and maybe it did, but we didn't have very high odds. I've been noticing some "symptoms" because I can't resist symptom spotting, but I'm pretty sure it's just the progesterone playing tricks on me.
Speaking of progesterone ... I had my 7DPO progesterone lab on Monday. I was lucky enough to have my favorite nurse do the draw. I really appreciate how thoroughly she explains things (she understands that I'm a control freak) - she told me that a regular clinic wants it to be at 8 or above, but they prefer to see 15 or above. If my progesterone was low, they would have increased me to 2 progesterone invasions a day (because that's what those progesterone suppositories are - invasions), but thankfully it came back at 35. The nurse who called with my results was very pleased with the number, so that's exciting. That was probably the first time in our TTC history that I was an overachiever. Unfortunately, my awesome progesterone level has nothing to do with whether or not I'm pregnant, so it's not that important, but it felt good to have something go right.
I've been debating if I want to test early or just wait for the beta, but I think test early has won, although I don't think it's a very good idea (that doesn't make any sense, I know). I know that the tests I have are sensitive enough to detect 20-25 mIU/ml (whatever that means), but I also know that the most accurate test is going to be the blood test. In a way, I don't really want to see another negative test, but if it's going to be negative, at least I'll be prepared.
Anyway, enough of my crazy rambling. I'll maybe check in with the results. Or not. I don't know.
Speaking of progesterone ... I had my 7DPO progesterone lab on Monday. I was lucky enough to have my favorite nurse do the draw. I really appreciate how thoroughly she explains things (she understands that I'm a control freak) - she told me that a regular clinic wants it to be at 8 or above, but they prefer to see 15 or above. If my progesterone was low, they would have increased me to 2 progesterone invasions a day (because that's what those progesterone suppositories are - invasions), but thankfully it came back at 35. The nurse who called with my results was very pleased with the number, so that's exciting. That was probably the first time in our TTC history that I was an overachiever. Unfortunately, my awesome progesterone level has nothing to do with whether or not I'm pregnant, so it's not that important, but it felt good to have something go right.
I've been debating if I want to test early or just wait for the beta, but I think test early has won, although I don't think it's a very good idea (that doesn't make any sense, I know). I know that the tests I have are sensitive enough to detect 20-25 mIU/ml (whatever that means), but I also know that the most accurate test is going to be the blood test. In a way, I don't really want to see another negative test, but if it's going to be negative, at least I'll be prepared.
Anyway, enough of my crazy rambling. I'll maybe check in with the results. Or not. I don't know.
03 December 2013
Daily Shot
I am so excited that my little bitty bloggy was featured in today's Fertility Authority Daily Shot Newsletter!
If you're new here, take a look around, say hi, and I hope you stick around! :)
I want to send a huge, huge thank you to to Jay (The 2 Week Wait) for letting me know about this awesome opportunity!
If you're new here, take a look around, say hi, and I hope you stick around! :)
I want to send a huge, huge thank you to to Jay (The 2 Week Wait) for letting me know about this awesome opportunity!
02 December 2013
IUI #1 - Crossed Off the List
It's official, I can now cross IUI off of my "tried it" list. I was kind of nervous that it wasn't going to happen -I've had too many canceled cycles. I was so relieved at my appointment last Friday when my nurse told me I had one very close follicle (17mm), and a second not far behind (14 or 15mm). I was completely expecting them to say my follicles weren't responding strong enough to continue.
Here was my IUI cycle timeline:
CD3 - baseline
CD3-7 - Letrozole
CD11 - follicle check, largest one was 14mm
CD13 - follicle check, largest one 17 mm
CD14 - trigger!
CD16 - IUI
The procedure itself was relatively painless - I think the worst part was the damn speculum. It sounds like the different factors are looking pretty good for us - B's post-wash count was great, my lining was looking nice and fluffy on Friday, and I can definitely feel that trigger shot working it's magic on righty. I've been having some cramping on my right side pretty much all afternoon, which I think is a good thing.
After the procedure, the nurse laid out the plan for the rest of the cycle. This Friday I start the progesterone, then on Monday I go in to have my progesterone level checked to make sure it could sustain a pregnancy. After that, I wait until the 14th or 15th for the main event - the beta. Oooh, my favorite part of the day - as we were walking out to the lobby to leave, we saw my favorite nurse (I know it's not nice to have favorites, but she has the best personality, and she was the first nurse we met when we had our initial consultation. We bonded. The rest of the nurses are a bit more ... laid back, which is nice, but ... I just love her bubbly personality). She was really happy to see us, and asked how it went, and told us she was crossing her fingers and toes. I seriously love the staff at our clinic.
I've been trying to remind myself that this isn't a sure thing, and I need to have reasonable expectations. It's been hard to not get my hopes up. Now I just have to wait it out to see what happens ... this is going to be a long 12 (or 13) days.
Here was my IUI cycle timeline:
CD3 - baseline
CD3-7 - Letrozole
CD11 - follicle check, largest one was 14mm
CD13 - follicle check, largest one 17 mm
CD14 - trigger!
CD16 - IUI
The procedure itself was relatively painless - I think the worst part was the damn speculum. It sounds like the different factors are looking pretty good for us - B's post-wash count was great, my lining was looking nice and fluffy on Friday, and I can definitely feel that trigger shot working it's magic on righty. I've been having some cramping on my right side pretty much all afternoon, which I think is a good thing.
After the procedure, the nurse laid out the plan for the rest of the cycle. This Friday I start the progesterone, then on Monday I go in to have my progesterone level checked to make sure it could sustain a pregnancy. After that, I wait until the 14th or 15th for the main event - the beta. Oooh, my favorite part of the day - as we were walking out to the lobby to leave, we saw my favorite nurse (I know it's not nice to have favorites, but she has the best personality, and she was the first nurse we met when we had our initial consultation. We bonded. The rest of the nurses are a bit more ... laid back, which is nice, but ... I just love her bubbly personality). She was really happy to see us, and asked how it went, and told us she was crossing her fingers and toes. I seriously love the staff at our clinic.
I've been trying to remind myself that this isn't a sure thing, and I need to have reasonable expectations. It's been hard to not get my hopes up. Now I just have to wait it out to see what happens ... this is going to be a long 12 (or 13) days.
01 December 2013
The Big Day
Tomorrow is IUI day. I'm nervous and excited.
That's pretty much all I had to say. This is kind of a pathetic post, but my brain is barely functioning. I'm hoping to have something a bit more interesting to say tomorrow after it's done.
Thank you so much to all of the amazing people who have been wishing me luck for tomorrow (and for this entire cycle, really). My appointment is at 11:30am Central Standard Time ... any extra thoughts/prayers/vibes then would be greatly appreciated :).
That's pretty much all I had to say. This is kind of a pathetic post, but my brain is barely functioning. I'm hoping to have something a bit more interesting to say tomorrow after it's done.
Thank you so much to all of the amazing people who have been wishing me luck for tomorrow (and for this entire cycle, really). My appointment is at 11:30am Central Standard Time ... any extra thoughts/prayers/vibes then would be greatly appreciated :).
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