It's CD35 and I'm Pissed [updated]

I am sooooo pissed at my uterus.

My previous 3 cycles have all been 30 days (the first 2 were natural, the most recent was after stopping the vag progesterone), but apparently I was stupid to think my body was finally cooperating.  I don't know if I should blame this wonky cycle on the progesterone from last cycle or on the 3-4 lbs I gained back (after losing 13).  Either way, I'm angry that things aren't going the way they were supposed to - again.

I'm planning on calling the RE's office today, and hopefully they'll call in a prescription for Provera so we can get this show on the road (and by "get this show on the road," I mean wait 2.5 weeks for AF so we can finally move on).  I thought I could expect AF this morning, because all day yesterday and last night, I was exhausted and experiencing some really intense cramps.  I was wrong though, no signs at all today.  So now, everything is pushed back to starting in the middle of February, and we've lost another month.

I'm so sick of constantly fighting all of these elements that are outside of my control, and I'm especially sick of constantly feeling like I'm losing.  It's not supposed to be this hard!  Ugh.


Updated at 7:15 pm:  Apparently all it took was a temper tantrum, because right before I called the RE, I started spotting.  Tomorrow is definitely CD1, and things seem to be back on track, at least for the moment.

Blocked

I've been meaning to write a new post pretty much since I published the last one, but I had been having a hard time coming up with things to ramble about - blogger's block.  I started a couple of drafts, left them, came back to re-read them, realized they were crap, started over, and the vicious cycle kept repeating.  It didn't help that life has been very tame and boring lately (not always a bad thing, but it certainly doesn't lend itself to create interesting blog posts).  In an effort to finally get something posted, here's a brain dump about what has and hasn't been happening lately.

We're coming up on the end of a natural cycle, and I'm pretty sure I'll be back on the drugs next cycle if everything works out in our favor.  I'm on CD23, and if this cycle is like the previous 3, I should expect AF toward the end of next week.  I'm kind of hoping that AF is either a couple of days early or a couple of days late so that we don't have any issues with the timing of IUI 2.0.  If I have another 30 day cycle and my reaction to the meds is the same as last cycle, IUI day would be during one of B's busiest work days - which would probably result in us having to cancel.  It would be so much better for both of us if it would land on a less busy day so he could use a vacation day.  Crossing fingers things go our way!

Christmas is finally over for us - my sisters came to visit on their way home from their friend's house, dropping off and picking up the last of the gifts for our family's secret Santa gift exchange.  My Santa (my dad, with the help of my mom and sisters) gave me some really awesome gifts - name art of our last name and frames for the photos (like this, except our last name is so long we needed 2 frames), mint candy bars from Seroogy's, and (my favorite gift, the #1 thing on my wish list) a Project Life core kit (Kraft edition) and page protectors.  I'm really looking forward to using the kit to make our family yearbook.  I've been taking a bunch of pictures (not easy, given the current dullness of life) and I've been filling out planning pages for my layouts because I'm a nerd.  The only downside to the Project Life kit is I have some extras that I need to buy in order to make it work - a bigger pack of page protectors and an album (the PL page protectors don't fit in the red linen album I already have).  I also bought some partial kits from eBay so I have a nice variety.  These extras are not helping me work toward spending less money ... Anyway.  B was pretty pleased with his gifts too.  His secret Santa was one of my younger sisters, and she bought him two games - Settlers of Catan and Zombie Dice.  B loves having game nights at our house (or at our friend's house), so they were perfect gifts for him.  He also got Seroogy's mint candy bars.  Apparently our gifts were very well received as well (B bought for my dad, I bought for my sister-in-law), so Christmas was a hit.  I'm glad it's finally over now.

I had an emotional few days last week when my parents had to put one of their dogs down.  I think it's been extra rough because it was completely unexpected - she ate a frozen stick and it didn't break down, causing damage that couldn't be repaired .  She was only 8 years old, we got her and her sister when they were puppies, and she was such a sweet dog - it was a pretty devastating loss for my family, especially my dad.  They've been spoiling their other dog rotten to help heal their hearts, which is good for all of them.

B has been crazy busy at work the last few weeks, staying late, working on weekends, and bringing work home with him (hence the whole lotta nothing we've been doing lately.  Well, that and we're poor).  This new computer system they're using at work is really stressing him (and most of his co-workers) out, so he's been pretty tense  and a little cranky lately.  He managed to catch a cold (I'm guessing due to stress) and he was kind enough to share it with me, and it's miserable.

I'm off to a slow start on my goals for the new year.  It's a good thing I have the entire year to work on them!

So yeah, that's pretty much the whole update.  I'm hoping for some good excitement to come our way soon - this is just getting too boring!