Planning A New Year

With a new year starting tomorrow (where did this year go?), I’ve started thinking about what I’d like to work on for the next year. Looking back at last year’s goals (and the updates I wrote about them), I’m super disappointed in myself. Because I did such a crappy job following through this year, my 2013 goals/resolutions list is pretty long - hopefully I can stick to them a little better.

My 2013 goals and resolutions, in no particular order …

* Learn to do new things - Thanks to Pinterest, there are quite a few things that I’d like to learn how to do. One of the top things on my list is to learn how to use power tools. I have come across quite a few things that I’d like to build (or at least assist in building) for our home, like a platform bed frame, end tables, and a shoe storage cubby. B’s dad is our go-to guy for all of our carpentry needs, but I would like to be able to help without being scared of the tools, plus it would be nice to be able to do some of the small stuff myself. I have also fallen in love with the gorgeous chalkboards, hand lettered signs, and calligraphy envelopes that everyone and their mom is pinning lately, so I’m hoping to practice my lettering technique this year. Another thing on my list of things I’d like to learn isn’t exactly new - I want to learn how to scrapbook. I mean, I kind of know how (you stick pictures onto paper and slap them in a book) - but I’ve never completed a scrapbook. Hell, I don’t think I’ve ever really even started a scrapbook. That’s going to change in 2013 - I have a ton of paper and other assorted scrapbooking supplies, and I’m going to use them (once I get my craft room clean)!

*Start Meal Planning - we do a watered down version of meal planning every week before grocery shopping, so I’m hoping this won’t be too difficult for us. I would like to build up a variety of recipes to draw from (we pretty much eat the same meals every week and it gets boring) and begin meal planning for a couple of weeks at a time. Hopefully that will help cut down on the amount of grocery shopping we have to do, and maybe even lower the amount of money we spend on groceries each month. B and I hate grocery shopping, so if we can do less grocery shopping, it’s a win for both of us.

* Follow the Budget - I guess to follow through with this resolution, we’ll first have to set up an actual budget to follow. We have a loose budget thrown together, but I don’t really know much about where our money goes, so I’d like to be more involved. I am really bad at walking away from extra expenses, so I want to work on that - I don’t need more clothes, more paper, fast food … I need to cut back. It’s definitely going to be a challenge.

* Keep up with House - I’ve started working on this a little already because we started having weekly game nights a couple months ago, but I have already been slacking again lately, so I need to get back on the wagon. Because of my split shift, I have plenty of time in the middle of the day to get housework done, but chores typically lose out to nap time. I’m trying to work on it. I would love to get organized in 2013 as well. My things are never put away where they belong - it drives B crazy, but he puts up with my mess. I really want to get myself under control in 2013.

* Post on Blog Regularly - easier said than done. My goal is one post a week minimum, which seems manageable … the only problem is that I’m super boring, so unless I get KU soon, I might not have anything to blog about.

*Make Healthier Choices - I’ve been a little more adventurous in trying foods I didn’t think I liked before. It turns out I love asparagus, spinach salads, and guacamole (not all at the same time). I want to continue trying different veggies and eating healthier, and definitely work on cutting down portion sizes. Skipping dessert once in a while wouldn’t be a bad idea either. My other stereotypical goal is to work on being more active. I haven’t been walking as much as I used to, so I need to start doing something - probably yoga. I have a few videos that I like to follow along with, but I don’t do them very often, so in 2013, I’d like to do videos twice a week. We’ll see how that shapes up.

*Take More Pictures - We have a ton of empty picture frames, and I want to fill them. B and I don’t have many pictures together (aside from our wedding pictures) because we aren’t the most photogenic people. I’m hoping to figure out a way to take more pictures of us and actually get them printed so we can hang them. I’m thinking about attempting to do Project 365 so at the very least I have some random things from our daily life to frame. If I follow through with it, I might even put together a family yearbook.

*Be a Better Wife - I’m still working on changing the way I talk to B. It’s a difficult habit to change, especially when we have the same sense of humor.

* Follow Through - the most difficult resolution of all. Obviously I failed at this in 2012 because most of my goals and resolutions were incomplete. I’m a work in progress when it comes to following through with things - I have great intentions and zero motivation. I’m hoping I can improve on this in the new year.

So there they are … 2013 is going to be a year of change. I hope.

Bust

I didn’t even make it to my test date.  Stupid AF decided to show up early - ugh.  I called my NP’s office right after I got done with work this morning, and I’m assuming I’ll get a call back at some point today to set up a CD3 baseline ultrasound, and then I’ll start the whole process over again.  Yay.

Ugh, I really was hoping that this was it.  On to the next …

Today is 6DPO.  I think.

Last week on Wednesday and Thursday, my CBEFM did something amazing - it gave me a peak reading.  I had positive OPK’s those days as well.  Words can’t even describe how shocking that was to me.  I went in to the clinic on Thursday for the hCG trigger just to be sure … my fingers are crossed.

My current plan is to test on the 13th (that should be long enough for all of the trigger to be out of my system).  I’m hoping the next week goes quickly.  I have some things planned to keep me busy - Friday night will be our 6th consecutive game night held at our house, and my sister-in-law and a good friend are coming up to do some holiday baking this weekend.  At the very least, the next few days should pass quickly … the four days after that will be the worst.

As far as my intuition goes … I have no inkling either way.  Maybe after another few days it’ll kick in.

Blood Work 2.0

I got the call from my NP’s office this morning - my estradiol level was pretty low (103 - it needed to be closer to 300).  Womp womp.

Another e2 test was ordered for today.  This time I was able to have it done at my local clinic, so B didn’t have to take more time off to take me to yet another appointment.  I’m so glad it worked out that way - I feel really bad when he misses work for me.

Anyway, the nurse at the clinic had to take the blood from the same side as it was taken on Saturday (lefty) because the vein on my right side wasn’t cooperating.  I already had a lovely looking bruise in the crease of my elbow - it’s going to be even more glorious later tonight.

I’m not feeling as optimistic about this cycle as I was on Saturday.  I have a feeling that the results of this blood test will come back lower than it was before.  Maybe the next cycle will be more successful - it has to be, right?!  (I know the answer is no, it doesn’t have to be … but I’m trying not to think negative thoughts)  This process is really taking a toll on me lately - I need it to be over soon, but I’m not willing to give up.

Follow Up

Today I had my CD15 follow up appointment, and I think the information I got today sounds pretty promising.

I have one good-sized follie on the right side, measuring about 15.4mm.  I had blood drawn to test my Estradiol level.  If the E2 comes back in the 300 range, I’ll most likely be having another ultrasound on Monday, along with getting the hCG trigger shot.  I’m expecting the results to show up in my online chart some time tomorrow, but I’ll get the official word from the NP’s office Monday morning around 8 AM.

I’m optimistic, but trying to stay connected to reality - this cycle might be successful, but it might not.  Those daydreams are pretty nice though.

As much as I don’t want to start a new work week, I can’t wait for Monday.

Appointment Update

Last Wednesday, I finally had my appointment with the Nurse Practitioner my doctor referred me to.

I was nervous all morning leading up to the appointment, but thankfully, the appointment itself wasn’t awful at all - I really liked the NP, and I got some very good information.  The ultrasound was quick and painless.  My ute looked good, however … I finally got the diagnosis that I’ve been worried about since we started TTC - it turns out I have PCOS.  I’ve had a suspicion all along, despite being told that my blood work came back in normal ranges, so I wasn’t completely shocked by the diagnosis, but it still sucks.  At least now I know for sure, and we can attempt to treat the problem.

After the ultrasound, I sat down with my NP (after getting dressed again, obviously) and she laid out the plan for the rest of this cycle. She renewed my prescription for Clomid, but decreased it to 50mg instead of 100mg to hopefully avoid more cramping.  I have a follow up ultrasound scheduled for CD15 (the Saturday after Thanksgiving), and if I have a good looking follicle, I have the option of getting an hCG trigger shot so that I’ll ovulate, and then … we “get busy” and wait.  A week later, I’ll have to go back to get my progesterone levels tested again, and that finishes out this cycle.

There is a lot to be excited about for this cycle.  I’ll have a chance to see what is actually going on inside my ovaries on Saturday.  We’ll find out if the Clomid is working the way it’s supposed to or not.  We’ll have a plan in place for the next cycle if this one isn’t successful.  We will be one step closer to having our family.  All of these things are great for keeping me positive about this process.  And if it doesn’t work out this time, I’m hoping the plan will make the disappointment sting a little less.

I have until Saturday afternoon to keep my hopes reasonably high, and I’m going to keep sending egg grow-y vibes to my ovaries so that we have something to work with on Saturday.  Wish me luck :)

Progress

It’s hard to believe, but we’re actually making some progress.  Not immediate progress, but progress nonetheless.

I called the doctor’s office a couple of weeks ago with my monthly cycle check in with disappointing results to report - despite the increased dosage of Clomid, I didn’t have any positive OPK’s this cycle.  My doctor was concerned about the intense cramping that I experienced, so I have officially been referred to a different practitioner who has a more hand on approach to treatment (she prefers to monitor patients who are on medication instead of having the patient self-monitor and report back, like I’ve been doing).  Because I hadn’t gotten AF on my own and I was approaching CD40, the new Nurse Practitioner I’ll be seeing prescribed Provera (again) to help things along.  On CD1, I have to call the doctor’s office so I can schedule an appointment and be seen by CD5.  The purpose of the appointment is to get a baseline ultrasound and to check for possible cysts that could have been caused by the Clomid, and to have a general consult with the new practitioner.

I spent almost half an hour on the phone with the insurance company before calling the doctor’s office and agreeing to move forward with this new plan.  I wanted to make sure everything would be covered, especially after the fiasco that was B’s appointment with the specialist that ended up being completely unnecessary and landed us a $400 out of pocket hospital bill for what should have been an office visit.  A bill like that is not an option for us right now.  I had looked over our policy book, and according to the book, everything up to and including IVF is covered, but there’s a $15,000 limit on fertility treatments (so far, I’ve used about $140 of that) - I figured it was probably safe to move forward, but insurance companies can be tricky, so I decided to be safe and call.  After listening to the customer service representative talk in circles for a while and explaining and re-explaining the situation, I finally got an answer - as long as the appointment is billed as an office visit (and it will be, according to the nurse I talked to), we will only be responsible for our co-pay.  Thank goodness.  Now I just have to wait for my next cycle to start so we can get this process moving.

This journey is nothing like I had expected when we first started “trying” a year ago.  It’s more disappointing and frustrating and exhausting than I could have ever imagined  … but I’m not letting that stop me, because I know that the end result is going to be so worth it.

Oct-over It

Near the end of September, something came over me.  I was getting really excited about October.  I had a good feeling about this month and I was getting “signs” that got my hopes up - my fortune cookies told me a pleasant surprise was coming my way soon, and now is a good time to try something new, I had started a higher dose of Clomid.  Things had to work, and my luck had to be changing …

And now, my optimism for October is going down the drain quickly, and we’re barely into the month.

Today is CD22.  To this point, I’ve had negative OPK’s and my chart looks awful.  I wish I still had some optimism left, but I just don’t.  The only thing that seemed somewhat promising was the awful sharp cramps I would randomly feel.  I thought they had to be a sign that my ovaries were trying to function properly.  Because I still haven’t gotten my positive OPK, I’m beginning to think those pains are actually a sign that something is going wrong.

I am well aware that it’s possible to ovulate late in your cycle - even after CD22.  I really really wish that this might be the case for me, but truthfully, the odds are against me.  It is completely my fault.  I haven’t been doing the things I should have been doing - eating right, continuing my yoga, getting real exercise … I’ve been lazy and unmotivated.  I’m just too exhausted to do the things that I know I should be doing.  It’s awful.  I’m definitely stuck in a rut right now, and I need to dig my way out of it ASAP.

I haven’t completely decided yet, but I’m leaning toward an unmedicated cycle next time around.  And I’m pretty sure I’m not going to chart my BBT.  I will definitely still use my Cleadblue Easy Fertility Monitor though - I have to have some idea about whatrs going on at least.  “They” always say that once you take a break from following procedure, things just fall into place.  I’m skeptical of this - my body doesn’t typically function the way it’s supposed to, so odds are if I go unmedicated, I probably won’t ovulate at all, but you never know, right? I’m hoping that taking a break in November will lead to a turkey in my oven … maybe if I get back on track and fake some optimism, good things will happen … until they do happen, I think I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

The Itch

I’m getting it again.  The itch to give part of our house a facelift.  Unfortunately I’m probably not going to be able to follow through for a while because we don’t have any money to put toward house projects (thanks, stupid medical bill).  B isn’t going to be happy that I’m wanting to do this either.  He hates house projects - he’s just not a handy DIY type of guy, so he probably won’t be too involved in the process when I finally get around to it.  And that’s okay with me, I’m more than prepared to do this mostly on my own once we have the budget to do so.

My desire to update another room never really goes away, but it became a stronger, nagging need within the past month or so.  Recently, my break between work shifts has been spent obsessively looking at home decor pins on Pinterest and watching HGTV (specifically Love It or List It, Property Brothers, and Income Property.  Those are my top 3 favorites).  All of the beautiful inspiration made me realize how ugly different parts of our house are (sorry house), and it sparked some ideas in my mind.

There are 2 rooms that I’d really love to tackle that I think could be done on a minimal budget and wouldn’t call for a lot of physically demanding work (I hope) - the laundry room and the front entryway.  These rooms are in decent condition, but they’re so unattractive - wood panels in both rooms - including the ceiling of the front entryway.  Yuck.

When I finally get permission from the Mister to update these rooms, they’ll both go through similar updates.  Due to budgetary restrictions (aka we’re cheap and broke), the wood paneling will have to stay.  It’s kind of crappy, but that’s more of a phase 2 update that will happen wayyyyy down the road.  To make it look less gross, the plan is to prime both rooms with a high quality stain blocking primer (I’m researching what would be the best option), and then both rooms will be covered with a pretty color.  In the laundry room, I’m thinking a nice pale blue to give it a light, clean, airy feeling.  Choosing a color for the front entry is a little more difficult - it has to go with the ugly brown and orange-y floors (hopefully those will also be part of phase 2) and transition well into our brown/tan living room, but because the room currently wood and there’s wood paneling on the ceiling, I’m not really feeling more brown.  I’d love to throw in a light, fun color, but it needs to “go” with the style and feel of the rest of the house.  Paint colors are tricky.  Both rooms will get some nice DIY’ed art treatments and will be de-cluttered, and that’s pretty much the bulk of the work I’ll be able to do on my own.

There are a few projects that I’d like to convince my father-in-law to build for the 2 rooms (I’d try to help at least).  In the laundry room, I’d like to find room for a laundry basket dresser (like the one shown here) and possibly even a litter box hider (like this one).  The front entry needs a bench with storage underneath for shoes.  I feel like all three of these projects should be fairly easy for B’s dad to build, but they’re the lowest priorities on my list, so they’ll be more likely to be a part of phase 2.

I really hope that we can get around to doing the easy, minor updates soon - I’m ready for some change.

Killer

This weekend, I killed something that I was kinda fond of.  No worries though, friends, because it wasn’t a living thing.  A few weeks ago, I started working on a Pinterest inspired project that everyone and their mother has been making lately - an ugly framed picture into a lovely framed chalkboard.  I bought a large framed picture from Goodwill for $8 and change, I grabbed spray paint in chalkboard, primer, and breezy blue, and I started spray painting my heart out.  Once the first coat of chalkboard paint was on the glass and I had primed the frame, I carried my masterpiece to the basement to dry.  Fast forward a couple of weeks, and tragedy strikes …

On Sunday, B was cleaning in the basement, and I went down to bother him.  The cat was wandering around downstairs, and B was mentioning that he didn’t want her to fall into a hole in the workroom floor.  I challenged him, saying I didn’t think it was possible for her to fit - so of course we had to go investigate to see who was right (spoiler alert:  It was B.  No surprise, because I know next to nothing about this house and he’s lived here for 20 years).  So we walked into the workroom, and I had to get closer to the area to get a good look at the hole.  On my way to the opposite side of the workroom, I wasn’t paying attention, and I stepped right on top of the chalkboard painted glass.  It cracked immediately, and I was so disappointed.  If anyone is concerned, I was lucky enough to avoid getting cut by the glass.  B was not so lucky, and got a small cut while disposing of the shards.  Sorry honey.

Even though I experienced a huge disappointment this weekend, I haven’t given up on the chalkboard frame idea.  I have come up with a new plan for *hopefully* making this work - I’m going to chalkboard paint the foam board that was going to serve as the backing to the glass - this could actually be a bonus because it will make it so much lighter.  Hopefully the paint will look just as nice, but if it doesn’t … then I guess I move on to plan C (start over with a new ugly Goodwill picture/frame and use the original in a different way - string some wire across, use small clothespins or clips to hang pictures).  Even though I failed miserably the first time around, I’m hoping that the mistakes I made will lead to an even better result to share in the future.

One Step Forward ...

And 1,000 steps back.  Yeah, I’m exaggerating a little - it’s not that bad, but setbacks while TTC SUCK.

Yesterday was CD40.  Not even remotely close to the longest I’ve gone between cycles (154 days), but I didn’t want to sit around waiting for something to happen.  Thankfully the nurses in my doctor’s office are very helpful and prompt, and my doctor is super proactive with my treatment.  I got a phone call maybe a half hour after sending an email to the doctor’s office from a very nice nurse asking for more details, and then she called back after about 15 minutes with a plan of action from the doctor.

I started taking Provera again tonight to hopefully induce another cycle, and I have 100mg of Clomid to take on CD5-9.  I was really hoping that I wouldn’t have to start the Provera again, and I was especially hopeful after having AF show up on her own - early - in July.  Unfortunately, that just wasn’t the case - stupid body.

Along with the medications, I’d like to get more into the yoga I kind of started practicing.  Once in a while I’ll spend a half hour or so on it, but I need to start a regular routine.  It might not make a huge difference, but it can’t hurt.  Maybe combining all of these factors will get us a BFP in September … my fingers (and toes) are crossed.

Cotton

Two years ago, I married my best friend.  Married life hasn’t always been sunshine and rainbows, but it’s been a great experience so far. 

Our plans for our anniversary are pretty awesome.  We started out with no plans, aside from going out for dinner at one of our favorite places.  By the end of last night, however, our anniversary got much more interesting.  B tweeted at Elizabeth Banks - he was trying to get tickets to a pre-screening of the movie “Pitch Perfect” in Chicago.  She actually tweeted back at him saying that we’re on the list to get into the movie, and she wished us a happy anniversary.  Pretty freakin’ cool.  We’ll spend some of the day in Chicago - probably hang out at Navy Pier - and then we get to see a movie that I am really excited to see.  Nice job, B :).

In other anniversary gift news, B kept with tradition and didn’t even know it - my first gift from him (which I received early) is a Doctor Who Adipose plushie.  It’s soo cute!  I haven’t named him yet …



As for my gift to B … there isn’t one yet.  He’s very difficult to buy for … plus he makes like all of the money in our relationship, so it’s kind of like giving him a gift from himself.  All I can do is write him sappy cards (and blog posts) about how much I love him.  Thankfully that seems to be enough.

Trying Something New

Now that I’m on CD5 (damn you, AF!), I figured I would share the TTC changes I’m making this cycle.

One new thing that I’m very excited to try this cycle is the Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor.  I stalked eBay, put in several bids (and lost several auctions), and ended up buying a gently used monitor at the super discounted price of $64.98 (originally $69.98, but there was an issue with the shipping - I was charged $2 to pick it up from the post office because there was postage due on it.  I contacted the seller, and they were amazing enough to refund $5 for the hassle).  Not a bad deal at all, considering they retail for $130-150.  The one downside to the CBEFM is that the test sticks usually sell for about $40 for 30 sticks.  Quite an increase when compared to my previous $14 for 40 Wondfo ovulation sticks and 10 pregnancy tests from Amazon.  With any luck, it will help us right away and I won’t need it for more than a couple of cycles (which should only use one box of 30 sticks).  Once we no longer need it, I’ll either stash it away in storage or resell it to another TTC-er and make back the money I spent on it.  I think it was a pretty good investment.

Another new thing that I’m pretty excited about is my “exercise regimen.”  I say that in quotes because I don’t really like to exercise (not a good thing), and I don’t do this regularly, but … I have started to kind of get into yoga for fertility.  This consists of different yoga poses that help the flow of energy and blood to the reproductive areas.  I don’t know that I really believe in all of that (well, I get the blood circulation, but energy?  Meh) but I figured it can’t really hurt.  At the very least, it helps me relax and that’s a very major benefit to me.  Currently, I’m trying some stuff I found on YouTube because I didn’t want to have to pay for it if it turned out it wasn’t for me.  If I start getting more into it and notice a lot of benefits and changes, then maybe I’ll purchase a DVD.  Actually, I’d really like to go to a class, but living in a small town means yoga classes aren’t readily available.  Maybe some day …

I also made a few minor changes to my diet.  I’m attempting to eat more leafy greens (I say attempting because - lets be real - eating spinach salads for a week straight got old fast.  Taking a break for a couple weeks, then trying again with a much smaller supply of spinach), I’m trying to eat more protein (yum!  eggs!), and I’m going crazy over fresh fruit.  I’m still working on portion sizes and well-rounded meals, and I just can’t seem to kick my chocolate cravings - there’s definitely room for improvement.

I’m pretty proud of myself for attempting to make some changes and trying new things, and I’m always looking for more suggestions, if any TTC-ers want to share.

Just don’t say acupuncture.  I won’t do that.  :)

Oh, hello ...

AF. You arrived a little early. How … nice?



Merp.

Progesterone Level Results

When the results showed up on my online chart Monday morning, the first thing I did was a search on Doctor Google - you can’t give me information and not expect me to investigate on my own.  Doctor Google gave me some interesting information (that I took with a grain of salt), but most of what I read online was kind of confirmed by the amazingly sweet OB/GYN nurse I talked to this afternoon.

My level was an 8.22, which is kind of on the low end for ovulation according to the nurse.  I should have asked if what I learned from Doctor Google was true (most things I saw on Doctor Google said that above a 5 means you ovulated, 10 is preferred).  I’m sure there are other questions I should have asked also.  I guess I can just write them down and ask them the next time around (because odds are, there probably will be a “next time”). 

The doctor looked over my results and thought it looked promising enough I guess, because the nurse said the notations stated if I started a new cycle, then we would go with the 50mg of Clomid again, as well as the monitoring and reporting that I did this time around.  Before I hung up, the nurse said “I hope you’re pregnant!  Have a great day!” - I really appreciated that :).  So I guess I’m going to go along with my original plan of waiting for AF next week and testing if she doesn’t show up.  Fun times :). 

6DPO?

Or maybe 5?  Or maybe not at all?

Fertility Friend says I might have ovulated between CD19 and CD22, but I haven’t gotten crosshairs and ovulation hasn’t been detected.  According to MyFertilityCharts.com, I definitely ovulated on CD20 or CD21 (it originally was 21, then I entered my CM data for a few days that I had forgotten to enter, and it switched to 20).  I also got 2 positive OPK’s, on days 19 and 20.  All of that information made for one confused lady.

On Thursday, I called my doctor’s office on (as I was instructed at my original appointment) to let them know that I think I had an ovulation event, and they put an order in for me to have my progesterone levels checked today (Sunday).  (Side Note:  According to the nurse I talked to, the OPK data is considered more reliable than BBT data - I thought that was kind of interesting.  I don’t know if I agree/believe that necessarily, but it’s good to know.) 

I’m very anxious for my results! If I am 5-6DPO, then I guess I’d POAS after July 24th.  As exciting as it is, I’m not really expecting anything this cycle.  I’m really trying to stay positive, but I have to stop getting my hopes up.  Besides, I just don’t have that kind of luck.  Who knows, maybe the universe will prove me wrong.  Just in case I’m not wrong, I have a trick up my sleeve for the next cycle … but I’ll get to that at another time ;).

Chicagoland, Minor Home Redecorating, and Birthday Cake

That’s what our weekend consisted of … and it was so freaking busy!

B and I spent pretty much all day Saturday in Chicago and the surrounding ‘burbs, which was really fun. We started the day at IKEA - I love that store. I did some window shopping, and I think I might throw together a post of my wishlist later … we’ll see how motivated I am. We ended up spending a little less than $90 there, and it was a good haul! We bought a new coffee table and a new curtain (and rod and brackets) for our dining room. I am super pleased with our purchases - the coffee table is HUGE and it was only $40, and the new curtains are awesome. Our dining room is definitely one of the ugliest rooms in our house, but now I kind of like it.

After IKEA, we went to Exchequer Pub and shared a heavenly deep dish pizza. Seriously - so freaking good! I could eat it every day (and then I would die after like a week because there’s just so. much. cheese. Yum!).  The original after dinner plan was to do some shopping/walking in Downtown Chicago, but I decided against going to my favorite Old Navy store because I’m trying to spend less money.  Instead, we went driving around the ‘burbs of Chicago. 

We browsed at a couple of shops in Ravenswood/Lincoln Square - Orange Beautiful, Amy’s Candy Bar, and Hoard Antiques. We drove by a couple of Chicago’s famous landmarks - Wrigley Field and The Weiner’s Circle, and I did some window shopping/drooling at Paper Source (aka heaven). 

After wasting a bit of time, we finally drove over to Aragon Ballroom for the Tenacious D concert (the reason why we spent the day in Chicago).  It was super hot in the ballroom, and we didn’t last long on the floor with the huge crowd.  After scouting the place, we settled in a less populated area on the side of the stage - we had a decent view, and it worked well (until I started getting sick from the heat and ended up leaning against a wall the whole night).  I didn’t care for the opening band, but I enjoyed listening to Tenacious D (for the most part - there was like 5 minutes of Jack Black just being weird … I wasn’t really into that).  I realized that I’m too old for concerts that don’t have seats - I’m getting lazy in my old age :).

Sunday was not a day of rest for us at all.  B woke up early to do his side job and record his podcast, and I woke up and put together our new coffee table.  I wanted to put the new curtains up also, but removing the old ones was a bit more difficult than I had anticipated.  I attempted to remove the old curtain rod myself, but failed.  B also tried, but that thing was not budging.  We ended up having B’s parents come over to help us (after we went to their house to fix their internet connection).  Stupidly, I only grabbed 2 brackets at IKEA for hanging the curtain rod, so we had to get creative with supplies from ACE Hardware.  B’s dad made some adjustments to a plant hanger, and it all worked out in the end. 

The highlight of my weekend occurred Sunday afternoon after the curtains were installed - I got my first positive OPK!  I had given up on this cycle and then - BAM - it appears as though I may have ovulated (or will ovulate soon?).  I don’t know for sure - my chart doesn’t look that great - I had another positive OPK on Monday, along with slight temp rise, and then today, my temp was back to where it was before with a negative OPK.  I guess my plan now is to wait a few days (FF says I could ovulate up until Wednesday) and then call my OB/GYN office and see if they want me to come in to have my Progesterone levels tested or whatever. 

We ended the weekend by celebrating the first birthday of a very sweet little girl. It was nice to spend the afternoon with our friends, and the birthday girl looked extra adorable with frosting all over her face. It was a very busy and entertaining weekend … I think I need another weekend just to recover.

Medicated

Now that I’ve finished taking the Provera and Clomid, I thought I’d take some time to post about my experiences with these particular medications.

As far as side effects go, I feel like I only experienced very mild ones with the Provera.  It pretty much just felt like regular PMS symptoms - moody/emotional, bloated, low energy … but nothing too drastic, which was a relief.  I had read online that AF typically shows up 5-10 days after the last dose of Provera, and I was right on schedule at 6 days.  I reacted really strongly to the medication - probably a good thing considering it had been so long in between cycles.  It made for a very uncomfortable week though :(. 

On CD5, I started taking the Clomid.  I was really nervous about it because I have a co-worker who had awful reactions to the medication, and I had read a lot of the stories that pop up online while searching for information about Clomid.  Because of some of the side effects (blurred vision, hot flashes, etc), I decided the best time for me to take the meds was before bed, and that worked out really well for me.  If I did experience any side effects, I didn’t notice them.

The instructions that I was given when my OB/GYN gave me the Clomid prescription stated that ovulation should occur between CD14 and CD19 (5-10 days after completing the Clomid).  Today I am on CD13 and my ovulation sticks have been negative (I started on CD10 just to get in the habit - I’m using the lovely cheapies from Amazon, so it doesn’t really matter if I go through a few extra).  I’m hopeful that some time this week, an eggie will decide it’s ready for take off.  I’ve penciled in some BD time for the next week to hopefully catch the hypothetical egg.  And after that … we wait.

If I do ovulate, I have to call the doctor’s office to inform them and then I’ll have to set up an appointment to check my progesterone levels.  I’m hoping that I won’t need to go through another round of medications (and that this is our cycle … that would be awesome) - even though I didn’t have terrible experiences, I also don’t like being on medication so … I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

I'm in a Blogging Slump

And I feel really awful about it.

My motivation to do pretty much anything is at absolute zero.  I blame my work schedule.  I am not a morning person, which makes waking up and being at work before 6am every freaking weekday a HUGE challenge.  Ugh.  And then add in the behavioral issues that I’m dealing with … I’m just exhausted.

Thankfully, there’s a short work week coming up - I was able to snag July 3rd as a vacation day (it also happens to be the day that our small town celebrates Independence day every year), and work is closed on the 4th to celebrate the holiday.  Hopefully having a couple of days to sleep in will refresh my mind enough to get a couple decent posts published.  I feel like I have a lot to say (especially considering I recently finished my first round of Clomid, I’ve been reading TTC related books thanks to the local library, I’m bidding on a TTC related item on eBay, I’ve gotten back on track with charting … lots of things happening right now), so hopefully I’ll get back to generating some content soon.

Hooray!!

The Provera did what it was meant to do.  I’ve never been so excited for AF in my life!

Exciting Week

1. June 9&10 - we celebrated my twin sisters and their graduation from high school. It made me feel old - I graduated from high school 8 years ago.


2. June 11 - we went to Chicago and were in the audience for a taping of Conan O’Brien’s talk show. Our seats were awesome (6 rows back from the stage) and because B is smart and wore a bright green shirt, it was easy to pick out the backs of our heads while watching the show.


3. June 13 - ordered my first pair of TOMS. I can’t wait for them to get here! (I bought the Herringbone with yellow soles)


4. June 14 - my last day of taking Provera! Hopefully it does it’s job and this is our cycle! (I’m actually trying to stay cautiously optimistic … It’s just hard not to daydream)


5. June 16 - B’s birthday :). Possible movie marathon at the budget theater.

Burnt

Yesterday, we spent about 3 hours in the direct sunlight of the early morning watching my sisters graduate from high school (woo hoo!).  It was in the high 80’s (reaching about 91 degrees by the afternoon).  I made sure to soak B in sunscreen because he’s so fair (he’s a delicate flower :D), but didn’t put any on myself because I needed some color.  Now I regret that decision, because the shirt I was wearing was kind of low cut.  My chest is so sunburned.  It was a little hard to sleep last night, and the shirt that I’m wearing today (a regular t-shirt) is rubbing the burn and making it feel awful.  My arms were sunburned yesterday too - and now they’re mostly just tan.  Too bad the rest of my sunburn didn’t cooperate like that :(.  I hope it heals quickly, but until it does, I’m going to keep smearing on aloe and trying to ignore the discomfort.

Always wear sunscreen, kids.  Sunburn sucks.

Post-Appointment Update

Overall, I think the appointment went really well.  I liked the doctor I saw, it was pretty quick, and I did not have to have an exam because I just had one in February (woohoo!!).

My actual talk with the doctor was pretty short.  She told me that there were 3 routes to take - an indirect, wait and see approach using Provera and Clomid (and seeing her), a more hands on approach using ultrasounds, medications, etc to check in on the production of follicles through a Nurse Practitioner at a different clinic, or going full tilt and seeing an RE.  I opted for choice number one.  I was also given a sample cup for B to do a semen analysis (he’s not happy with me), and we agreed that I should try to lose some weight.  Before leaving, they asked me to have a pregnancy test done just to make sure - results were negative.

On the way home, we stopped to pick up my prescriptions, and I’ll start taking the Provera tonight.  I need to order some ovulation predictor sticks too.  I started charting again at the beginning of the month, so I’ll keep that up as well and hopefully all of these elements combined will result in a baby - I’m thinking positive thoughts :).

I'm Nervous

And I can’t sleep. Tomorrow at noon, I have an appointment with an OBGYN to discuss my reproductive issues. I’m scared. I have no idea what to expect. This is considered a “new patient visit” - what does that even mean?? Ugh. I’m really hoping to get some good news tomorrow. Hell, I’ll settle for any news that isn’t bad (really terrible, no hope) news. It doesn’t have to be great, but I need this to turn out okay.

Bed Hog

I really should be asleep right now, but Sleeping Hubs keeps trying to infiltrate my side of the bed, so I have to stay awake to protect my bed territory. I’ve decided that kicking (gently!) at his legs so he’ll get them the eff away from my side of the bed is my best defense (I’m going to get a lot of crap from him about this in the morning). I need my space so I can fall asleep!


I like to be totally spread out when I sleep, and I can’t stand to have any of B’s limbs on me - no legs on top of my legs, no arms across my chest making me feel like I’m being strangled. Cuddling is only okay before I’m trying to fall asleep or when “cuddling” means putting my legs on top of him to gain more bed real estate. Or I guess when I’m already asleep and I don’t realize the cuddling is happening.


Any other bed hogs out there?

Lack of TTC Posts Lately

I’ve been doing a crappy job in general lately with posting somewhat regularly on here, but I have been super avoiding TTC/baby-related posts. The reason for this is two-fold. First of all - there isn’t much to report. We’re still trying, and we’re still not having any success because nothing is going on (by that I mean I am on cycle day 128 … not good - and yes, I’ve tested, like 3 times. All negative, so …) and the second reason is that thinking and writing about TTC and babies and whatever just makes me bummed out because it isn’t happening for us the way I had hoped it would.

To help remedy the situation (and hopefully bring some baby dust our way), I have made an appointment with an OB/GYN - she even specializes in infertility (although we don’t really know if that’s necessary yet). If I have any luck at all, she will be very proactive about things - I would love it if she would prescribe something to help speed the process up. I’m very hopeful that this doctor will be able to give me some answers (and good news) so that I can stop worrying that something is terribly wrong and it’s never going to happen for us … ugh, it kills me.

And as if all of that nothing going on isn’t enough to drive me insane, I just found out that my cousin who has a 6 month old baby is pregnant again (isn’t she just a fertile Myrtle), a girl I used to work with (who got married 2 weeks before us) is pregnant, we went to my BFF’s baby shower last weekend, and we saw “What to Expect.” Oh, and I see my pregnant boss every single day. It fucking sucks. As excited as I am for all of these people (and as much as I enjoyed “What to Expect” - according to B, I am totally, 100% going to be like Elizabeth Banks’ character), I just can’t help but wonder when it’s going to be my turn. And as I wait for my appointment on June 5th, I’m trying to stay positive … but it doesn’t make talking or blogging about these things any easier. I hope that changes soon.

New Year's Resolutions: A Progress Update

Now that we’re entering the 5th month of the year, I figured it was about time to check in on my progress with the resolutions I made for 2012 (I’m giving myself bonus points on following through for this post - wahoo!).  At this point, I’m not doing great, but it could be worse - I guess that’s a win.  My main problem is that I lost focus for a while.

If I had to grade myself on my progress, this would be my report card:

Be a Better Wife: C.  I have a bad habit of taking my work frustrations out on B (and I have a lot of work frustrations!), and I often turn to sarcasm and name-calling.  It’s difficult to censor myself because he does the same thing with me (an example of affection in our house is me calling him a dick and him questioning my ability to exist despite my incredible stupidity - we both laugh at each other’s insults).  I need to work on thinking before I speak and using real affection instead of hostile affection.

Be More Mindful of Spending: B-.  I had been doing a pretty decent job of keeping up with our finances via Mint instead of just relying on Hubs to keep me informed.  We had both been doing a pretty good job of keeping our frivolous spending down … until we went on vacation.  I encouraged B to go a little crazy at the Braves Clubhouse Store in Atlanta - we spent about $200 there.  And I’m a sucker for the pictures taken at the aquarium, so we spent $30 on one picture.  It’s not worth it, but it is.  We have also started going to more movies, which has increased our spending.  B bought a movie pack so we’re technically saving about $5 per movie, but we also tend to buy fast food before the movie, so we spend more than we save.  We need to cut back again on the extras we’ve been indulging in.

Follow Through: B-.  I have completed a few craft projects from Pinterest (and even tried a recipe!) and I’ve been doing a pretty good job of keeping up with blog posts, but I got apathetic with a major scrapbooking project before I really started it.  I have a hard time maintaining my motivation.  I think the biggest speed bump in my goal to follow through is feeling like I don’t have enough time, so I’m planning on creating a schedule to help me better manage my time, which will hopefully result in me following through and finishing what I start.

Keep in Touch with Friends & Family: D.  I talk to my mom and at least one of my sisters almost every day, but I’m not counting that.  I recently started writing a letter to a friend of mine from college - if I actually finish it and mail it out, I’ll boost my grade a little (there’s that beasty follow through rearing its head again).  I have been doing a little Facebook communication with a couple of friends also, but I don’t think it amounts to much.  I tie this one in with following through and hope that planning my time helps this improve.

Read More: A+!  Thanks to my Kindle Fire and our Amazon Prime subscription, I’ve been kicking some books’ asses!  Every month I download a free book from the Amazon Lender’s Library, plus I also purchased 2 physical books. That’s a 200% increase from the number of books I bought last year (that may be an exaggeration, but you get the idea).

Make a Decision about Grad School: (graded as pass/fail) FAIL!  To quote a law drama - I am hopelessly deadlocked on this case.  On the one hand, it’s my dream to get a Masters degree so that I could become a Marriage and Family therapist if I wanted.  On the other hand, my desire to become a mom - and a stay-at-home mom, at that - has made me reconsider my grad school plans.  Not to mention the cost - yikes!  This decision is going to take a while to play out, and I’m officially removing it from 2012’s resolutions.

Hopefully in another couple of months I’ll have made some real progress.

May Day

Today marks the beginning of the month of May.  Where did the last four months go??

It also marks the month that I am hoping to get more assistance in our baby makin’ endeavors.  When I had an appointment with my NP in February, I was told that if my cycles didn’t start regulating themselves (I guess the prenatal vitamins she put me on were supposed to help with that?), we would talk again in May about perhaps starting to use prescription medications (at the time, Metformin was mentioned) to help speed the process along.  Now that it’s May, I’m getting a little antsy.

I’m planning on waiting a couple of weeks before I contact my NP (I’ll actually probably call on the 13th - that was the date of my appointment in February) to see what she thinks now.  Since my last appointment, absolutely nothing has happened (aside from the fun stuff ;D) - super disappointing, and I really don’t think it can be healthy either.    Hopefully she will stick to what she said before, and we’ll be able to get things going again.  My fingers are crossed, and any positive vibes would be appreciated.

I'm Afraid I Might Become a Hoarder

True Story.  It’s all good though, because I worry about B becoming a hoarder too. Ha.

Watching “Hoarding: Buried Alive” on TLC is not a good idea for me. It makes me anxious. And that’s how it starts, isn’t it? :)

I try to have a big purge once a year.  Everything I haven’t used, have lost interest in, doesn’t fit, or whatever gets either tossed or put in a box to donate (but usually tossed). I have tried very hard to get B to do the same, but have only had minimal success … but we’ll get to that a little later.  I pride myself on doing a pretty good job of getting rid of things, but I have one major weakness …

I am a paper hoarder. I love paper. (And pens too. But only certain ones.) I save scraps of paper that I think might be useful later, I have several partially used notebooks sitting in storage - they’re too thin to use (which is ridiculous thinking - the purpose of paper is to use it, and it’s impossible for a notebook to be “too thin” but alas, that is my crazy mind at work), but I don’t want to waste the paper and just throw the notebook away (I get this from my mom - she has tons of partially used notebooks from the 80’s in storage in her basement).  I buy paper even though I know I have plenty at home.  I intend to use everything I purchase - but I end up losing the motivation and it just sits there, taking up space.  It’s a paper addiction, and it’s bad.  Once, I had a notebook in my green tote that I carry my lunch in, and a banana burst open and smeared on the notebook.  I cried.  It was my favorite notebook, and it was full of nasty banana.  Luckily I was able to save the notebook by wiping the banana remnants off and waiting for the corners to dry.  If that doesn’t prove that I’m crazy, I don’t know what would.  I’m trying to work on my paper hoarding and addiction, but it takes a lot of effort.  B is kind of helpful, because whenever I see stationery or notebooks that I want to buy, he asks if I really need it, and helps me to see that it’s not a need, it’s a want, and I’m able to walk away.  He’s like my own little paper-buying Jiminy Cricket.

B also has problems letting go of things. He still has tons of toys from when he was little, and he refuses to donate them or get rid of them because he has strong sentimental attachments to them.   He even told me that he wants to keep them (his old toys) “just in case our kids might want them.” He enjoyed his things so much as a child that he wants our children to have to opportunity to love the same things he did (it’s something I love about him, but it drives me crazy at the same time).  To which I just think “Yep, our unborn children are totally going to want to play with dad’s old toys instead of new ones.”  (and then I roll my eyes).  Half of our basement is hidden by piles of B’s sentimental treasures, and my office/craft room/girl cave is pretty messy and full as well … hopefully those piles don’t grow and start taking over other rooms!

Along with old toys, he has old t-shirts (most are wrestling themed, but I’m not gonna lie - there’s a Hilary Duff tee in there also) that he refuses to donate.  When we were still dating, I helped him go through his closet and set aside clothes to get rid of, and he fought really hard for those clothes.  In the end, I was able to convince him to get rid of some shirts, but I don’t really count it as a victory because he was so sad about it.  I felt really bad (but I’m happy that those shirts aren’t hanging in his closet anymore - closet space is extremely limited).  I almost wish I had let him hold onto those shirts - they would have made an awesome t-shirt quilt.  I’m pretty sure he has enough leftover to make one though … if only I could convince him to let me cut them up. :)

So yeah, there it is - B and I need to be careful, or we’re going to accumulate a ton of stuff and get buried alive in our house.  Or we won’t, but we really really really need to work on cleaning out our house and letting go of our “collections.”

I Love My Husband

The scene: I'm sitting on the couch looking at Pinterest, as per usual

Me: laughing like a lunatic over a stupid picture on Pinterest
B: You are so stupid. How do you exist?
Me: laughing even harder

It's 2:51 AM

Or 9:51 PM if you’re our piece of shit alarm clock.


In about an hour or so, we (B, brother, sister in law, and I) will be setting out on our road trip adventure to Atlanta. I’m kind of wide awake right now - and I feel kind of pukey. I think I’m too excited. Hopefully I will sleep in the car, but if it’s anything like last year’s vacation, not likely. I will totes crash at the hotel tonight though (which is probably a good thing considering my insomnia-like problems).


All I can think about is what I still need to pack and what I’m forgetting - probably nothing important.


This is the most boring post ever :).

Making Our House a Home

When B and I first started talking about becoming homeowners, I was excited. I couldn’t wait to paint the walls and decorate everything. When we ended up buying his childhood home from his parents, I was a little disappointed. Actually, a lot disappointed. As much as I love certain features of the house - specifically the chunky wood trim accents and the built-in shelves and cabinets/entertainment area in the living room - there are quite a few flaws. The previous-previous owners (you know, before my in-laws) installed the gypsum wall board that is used in trailer homes all throughout the house. The walls that remain beneath the gypsum board and the remaining walls that weren’t touched during remodels (aka every room except the bathrooms and the kitchen ceiling) are lath and plaster. Ugh.

In order to redecorate the house how we I want it, nearly every room in the house will eventually need to be gutted down to studs, the insulation will need to be refilled, the electrical should probably be updated, and then drywall will be installed … it’s going to be a giant mess (not to mention how ridiculously expensive it will be).

Remodeling the entire house is my long-term home owning goal, but I have a few short-term goals to keep me satisfied in the mean time.

One of the main things I’d like to do is add some personality to our rooms. We have a total of 5 things currently hanging on the walls. Two wedding pictures in our stairwell, two farmhouse/country style signs that we inherited from the in-laws (aka they forgot to take them with when they moved out - at some point I’ll stop being lazy and take them down … and probably donate them to Goodwill), and a really cute print that I recently found on Pinterest (original location here). Eventually, I’d like to have a photo gallery in the stairwell that covers most of the walls. I just love the look of them - I think the pictures and prints used in photo galleries say a lot about the family who lives in the house.

New furniture is really high on my list as well. We have an oddly shaped living room, and I think a sectional sofa would make the room configuration a lot less awkward. We even found one at the Cash & Carry store that we both really liked … it’s just a matter of saving up $800 to buy it :-/. I’d also like to replace our coffee table and end tables with ones that weren’t $20 for a set of 3 at Target. Yeah, our current coffee/end tables are those cheap-o MDF ones that college kids buy. And I broke the coffee table (on accident. I wanted to play Dance Central, it was in my way … I slid it out of the way, a leg got caught on the carpet, and now that leg is at a really awkward angle - but it still works … I guess). I’d like to get a coffee table with a lot of storage (to make up for the loss of storage that will happen when we no longer have the crappy futon). Our mattress needs to be replaced too. There are pieces of the springs (again) poking out of the mattress on B’s side of the bed, and it sags in the middle, so I can’t help but to lay in the middle of the bed rather than on my own side. It has definitely seen better days, and although the memory foam mattress pad we have on it is nice, it doesn’t make the bed any more comfortable (because it’s impossible).

Finally, I’d like to do a temporary remodel of the girl cave. I’d like to re-attach the wood paneling to the wall (there is one corner where the bottom of the panels have become detached from the wall), paint the wood paneling, and get rid of the ugly two toned carpet. I think there’s something about the house that screamed “put ugly carpet in me!” First we had to get rid of the rust-orange carpet in the small bedroom (there’s still some in the hallway and down the stairs mocking us), and the girl cave has blue/purple carpet with brown spots. Not dirty spots, but random patches of brown mixed in with the blue/purple. B’s parents (his mom) picked that carpet. I don’t know what she was thinking. (edit: B says I’m wrong, that carpet was already there. Either way it’s UGLY!) In order to do anything in that room, I’d need to clean it. Odds are, it’s never going to happen.

Hopefully within the next year or so we can start crossing these things off the list, and make our house a little more “us” and a lot more comfortable.

Road Trip!

It has been way too long since I’ve posted on this thing.  I blame work.  Work sucks.

Moving on …

In about a month, B and I will be going on our first vacation since our honeymoon last spring, and I am so excited! And to make the 14 plus hour road trip to Atlanta even more interesting, we’ll be joined by my brother and (soon to be) sister-in-law!

B deserves all of the credit for planning this trip - he was the one who noticed that the Braves home opening series was against the Brewers (he checked the MLB schedule as soon as it came out), he took the initiative to invite my brother and sister in law, and he planned all of the other activities we’ll be enjoying while on our trip as well.  Great job, babe!

This is our itinerary for the vacation:

Thursday, April 12 - travel day - we’re looking at about 16 hours (give or take … I’m including food and shopping breaks in this estimation) in the car, all the way from Wisconnie to ATL

Friday, April 13 - our first full day in Atlanta.  We’re going to the Georgia Aquarium in the morning, eating some real Southern Barbecue, and then heading to the Braves home opener against the Brewers.

Saturday, April 14 - zoo day!  I’m so excited, we didn’t have enough time to make it to Zoo Atlanta last year - and they have PANDAS!!!  (“RICK!  I killed a Panda!” - just for you B lol).  Post-zoo festivities include *hopefully* eating at Antico Pizza, and Braves vs Brewers game 2.

Sunday, April 15 - our last day in Atlanta :( - eating at The Vortex, Braves vs Brewers game 3, and then … hitting the road to come back home.  We’re planning on stopping in Nashville for the night.

Monday, April 16 - finish the drive from Nashville to home.  Boo!

It’s not going to be a very long trip, but we have a lot of things crammed into those few days, and it should be a very fun time.  I’m a little worried about the weather - it’s already 80 degrees here … it’s going to be like 100 degrees in Atlanta next month - yikers!  Regardless of the temperature, I am certain that we’ll have an amazing time.

My Hubsie is Amazing

… and now he’s going to have a major ego.

Seriously though, he’s really gone above and beyond lately.  Sunday, we went shopping and he let me buy another tin bucket at Target to use in the gray bedroom (this one is gray, so now I have 2 circle buckets - a white and a gray, and 2 oval buckets in aqua).  He also bought me an amazing (or awful) book - Tyra Banks’ “Modelland.”  I can already tell it’s going to be ridiculous. I suggested reading it together at bedtime - one chapter a night, so we could enjoy it together - he wasn’t very interested.  Instead, B mandated that I give a full book report when I’m finished reading.  I can only imagine the hilarity that will ensue.  Along with these other amazing purchases, I was able to snag Cadbury Mini Eggs and Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs.

Some time later this week, I should be receiving my new The Sims 3 Expansion Pack because B pre-ordered it for me a lonnnnnnnnnnng time ago when it was first announced.  I friggen love that game - I can’t wait to play it!

But B’s generosity doesn’t end there!  He’s also been buying tickets for various shows.  We’ll be seeing Aziz Ansari (for the second time) in May, and this coming Saturday, we’ll be going to Chicago to see “Bring It On:  The Musical” as an early birthday celebration for me.  I haven’t been to a real play in a long tine (like since 6th grade), so I’m super excited.

All of this amazing stuff, along with booking different things for our trip to Atlanta in less than 40 days!  Seriously, what a guy!  It feels really good to get spoiled a bit, and I appreciate everything he’s doing for me.

Charting Revisited

It’s been a while since I’ve talked about my experience charting my BBT on Fertility Friend. That’s because there isn’t much to tell. I quit doing it.

I had done a pretty good job of taking my temperature first thing in the morning (at approximately the same time every day) for almost 2 months. In that 2 months, I found out that my temperature doesn’t really follow normal patterns. Aside from the time I spiked a fever (I got the flu the Thursday before Christmas), my temperature ranged from 97.3 to 97.8 - never more, never less. After seeing that every morning for a month and a half, I decided I would stop charting until after visiting my doctor. While at that appointment, she asked if I had been charting and what I had seen, and she came to the conclusion that I had expected - my cycles during that time were anovulatory. Bummer. She briefly brought up using medication to help regulate things after a few months (if things don’t sort themselves out), but I wasn’t really given any more instruction.

Now that I’ve started taking the prenatal vitamins that I was prescribed, I am thinking about starting to chart again (after I replace the battery in my thermometer - I can’t believe it died already!). Maybe things will change (my NP said the vitamins might help somewhat in making things more normal). And if there is no change, then I’ll at least have my chart as proof that nothing is happening the next time I make an appointment, and at that point, we can further discuss the idea of using pharmaceutical help.

What I've Been Up to Lately

As I mentioned before, I’ve been doing a crummy job of posting regularly over here on my lovely little Tumblr.  Instead of going crazy with my excuses, I figured I’d make it easy with a bullet point list of what I’ve been doing for the past week or so:

• This weekend, two of my closest friends came up to hang out.  We spent most of Saturday shopping in Milwaukee’s Third Ward (aka where my favorite stationery store is - I managed to walk out without spending too much money!).  We also talked a bit about planning a girls weekend getaway this summer to either St. Louis or the Mall of America.


• I followed through on something!!  I made a few felt crafts (mentioned in the previous post), and I also made some really cute string-tie envelopes that I found via Pinterest (here’s the tutorial) - B totally didn’t think I was going to make these (I may have promised that there would be thousands of them around our house) … he was wrong!

• General laziness.  Lots of it.


• I finally ordered the wedding pictures that my mother-in-law picked out a year and a half ago.  I also ordered pictures from our honeymoon road trip that we went on last March.  I think I finally found some motivation for putting together a honeymoon scrapbook - just in time for our trip this April!  Hopefully the motivation continues and I can get that trip scrapped right away when we get back.  I even mapped out some ideas for a wedding scrapbook … I might even start working on that this weekend!

Hopefully my motivation to follow through continues and I get back in the groove of posting on this boring ass blog.  I kinda love it.

Results Are In!

I got the call yesterday letting me know that the lab results from my appointment on Monday were available.  But of course I didn’t get the message until after the lab had closed - I have the worst timing ever.  So I had to wait until this morning to call back and find out …

Everything is normal.

On the one hand, I’m relieved that there’s nothing wrong with my reproductive system.  On the other, this means that there is no medical explanation for why things are irregular and annoying.  Ugh.

According to the nurse I spoke with, we’re supposed to just keep going at it (haha, I’m so classy) for another few months to see if we can get pregnant on our own, and if we aren’t successful after a year of trying (September/October) then I’ll need to see an OB/GYN for further analysis.

A little bit of good news with a side of frustration … not quite what I was hoping for from this appointment, but … I guess I’ll take it.

Waiting

I hate waiting. It’s been especially torturous this week as I’ve been waiting on my lab results from my appointment on Monday. My NP ordered various tests to see if there is a cause for my long cycles, and I was under the impression that I would be getting the results at some time on Tuesday. That has not been the case (obviously). Even if I’ll be getting bad news (and I’m almost certain I will be), I want to know sooner rather than later - the more time we have to remedy the situation the better. Hopefully I get the call tomorrow letting me know what’s going on - I’d like to get the baby making show on the road!

Be Mine

Because Valentine’s Day fell on a Tuesday this year, we decided to enjoy an early Valentine’s celebration over the weekend.  On Saturday, we ran some errands, ate at one of our favorite burger places, saw a movie (Chronicle - it was goooood!), and did a little shopping.  It was pretty perfect.  Then on Monday, B surprised me with my Valentine’s card early.  Inside, there was an extra little note and love coupons.  So sweet.

Today, I gave B my love coupons.  That’s it.  My poor Valentine didn’t get anything special :(.  He shouldn’t feel too bad about it though, because I didn’t take any Valentine’s for my kids at daycare either.  I’m an awful teacher.  I had the best intentions - hell, I even started putting some together (the plan was to DIY that stuff using some of the materials I already had at home) - I just never got around to finishing them.  Making 26 Valentine cards by hand is a bitch.  I should have just bought some cheap ones like I usually do.  The kids were kinda naughty today, so that made me feel less bad about not bringing cards.  Hahaha.

I have to say that this year, Valentine’s day was pretty great.  We didn’t do anything fancy - like our trip to Chicago a couple of years ago - but it was nice to eat a homemade dinner and sit on the couch and watch tv with the man I love.

Guilty Pleasures

Everyone has them.  To be honest, I think mine are pretty common, but I’m going to share them anyway :).

I really enjoy bad TV.  Hubs does too … to a point.  We watch some crappy TV together - Jersey Shore, anyone?  Ugh, it’s so bad, but it’s soooooooooo good.  And WipeOut.  We just can’t resist it.  There’s nothing funnier than watching other people fall or get hit by random doors on obstacles.  Seriously, we both have been to the point of crying from laughing while watching WipeOut.  It’s just great.  But B can’t stand to watch most of my shows.  Like, I’m obsessed with several of the really crappy and ridiculous ABC Family shows.  Pretty Little Liars?  Jane by Design?  Switched at Birth?  Yes, please.  These shows are all ridiculous, but I am addicted.  They sucked me in, and even though I try to resist them, they’re usually the first DVR’d shows I watch when given the opportunity.  When they go on hiatus in the middle of the season or at the end of the season, I get really sad.  I may have even dreamed a PLL story line once.  Pathetic.

My taste in music is about as bad as my taste in television shows.  Most of the time, I listen to the regular Top 40 songs - you know, the ones the radio stations play on a steady rotation of the same 15 songs over and over for all of eternity.  I actually really love folksy singer/song-writer type music too, but I can’t stay away from pop music.  There’s nothing like awful boy bands or cheesy songs from the 80’s and 90’s to break me out of a really awful mood.  Listening to *NSYNC, Vanilla Ice, and Wilson Phillips immediately turn my day around; I would have been supremely disappointed if they didn’t play Sir Mix A Lot and the Macarena at our wedding.  I just love the cheesy pop music.  I think I love awful music because those songs remind me of a simpler time - being in my teens.  They make it feel like summer break, hanging out with friends, and being carefree - all things that I would like more of in my adult life.

Who can resist celebrity gossip blogs?  Not this gal.  I have actually cut back on visiting these sites in the past year or two (I no longer have them in my Google Reader), but I still check in occasionally - mostly to see what celebs are pregnant or recently had babies - I’m fascinated by the names they choose for their children.  And of course I have to check in occasionally to make sure that Britney is still out of rehab and to verify that different celebs have passed on.  I didn’t believe MJ died until I saw it on a famous gossip website.  It’s like watching the news, except not really all that reliable. 

To round it out, there is one video game that I am kind of ashamed to say I own … for the Nintendo DS and the 3DS.  I am a grown woman.  I have had several pets in my life.  There is no reason why I should love Ninendogs (and Nintendogs + Cats) as much as I do.  I’ll be honest, I don’t keep up with it as much as I should, but I just love those digital furry faces.  I’m really quite picky about which breeds I adopt, and the colors and markings have to be just so for me to find a breed cute.  It’s ridiculous - they’re not flesh and blood real animals, but that doesn’t stop me from loving them.

I may need an intervention.

Even though I have a lot of guilty pleasures, there is one that never snagged me:  Twilight.  No. Thank. You.  Harry Potter all the way.  Expelliarmus!

When Hubs is Away ...

The wife will craft [and in this wife’s case, fail miserably at it].

B had a work dinner tonight, which meant not only was I on my own all day on my Monday off, but I also had most of the evening to myself as well.  This makes for a very dangerous situation (no supervision all day = I’m productive.  No supervision for over 12 hours = I get antsy and make bad choices).  I spent the whole day doing laundry, cleaning, and other household-y things (and managed to spend 2 and half hours on the phone with B’s aunt - yeesh).  But then, around 7:00 pm, I. Was. Bored.  Super Nanny wasn’t playing on Style Network anymore, so I needed to find a way to entertain myself.  After about 5 minutes on Pinterest, I came across a pin linked to this tutorial using an old t-shirt to make a woven headband.  I thought to myself, “I can do this, no problem” and ran upstairs to grab an old stained tank top out of my girl cave garbage (don’t worry friends, all that is currently residing in that garbage is old shirts that Goodwill would turn down - no nasty dumpster diving for me!).  I brought the tank top downstairs, cut my strips, and then things got really interesting.

I planned on just hand-stitching the strips together until I realized I could probably figure out how to use the sewing machine my mom had brought up here for me a year and a half ago.  I pulled the machine out, checked to make sure it was already/still threaded (it was, thanks mom!), plugged it in and took ‘er for a drive.

The first time, my threads got all knotted, the fabric didn’t move, and I had to do surgery to free my strips from the machine.  I reconfigured the thread and went for attempt 2 - success!  All five strips were sewn together!

Then … I looked at what was left of my little tank top and thought, “hey, I think that might make a cute mini pillow.  There’s some poly-fil in the cabinet in the laundry room.  I could even sew little fabric flowers on it.”  So I cut out two rectangles, placed them right sides together, and started sewing around the outside of my rectangles.  I got one long side done with no incidents, turned the fabric and started sewing again - the thread wasn’t sticking.  I pulled it out and - oopsie - the bobbin was out of thread.  And so ended my plan to surprise B with a mini pillow when he got home.  [Insert sad trumpet sounds here]

Oh well, back to my original idea (the headband) I went.  I taped my long strips of t-shirt down, pulled on them … and the edges didn’t curl.  Ugh.  I’m not really sure what I did wrong - I think I cut them the wrong direction? - it was a hopeless case.  So I threw away the 5 strips that I had managed to put together, went back into the dining room to clean the bobbin-threadless sewing machine up (aka get rid of the evidence), and went to sit back on the couch to watch House.  Until … inspiration struck again.  Dun dun duuuuuuun!

I ran up the stairs to the girl cave, dug into our wedding crap box (yes, we’ve been married almost 2 years and we still have a wedding crap box … we’ll get around to putting things away in due time, thankyouverymuch), and pulled out one of our many empty picture frames.  “Perfect,” I thought, “I’ll use some of that cute Valentine’s wrapping paper from the Target bargain bin and make a cheap and easy Valentine’s picture to hang.”  I opened up the back of the frame, hoping for a piece of cardboard to wrap my wrapping paper onto.  I was disappointed by what I found - a flimsy piece of cardstock-ish paper.  I took the paper to cut out the shape from an old cereal box, but the box was too small.  Damn.  So I decided to just use the flimsy paper, cut my wrapping paper so it could be wrapped around, taped it up, stuck it back in the frame, and stepped back to admire my work.  And then I realized the paper was crooked.  [More sad trumpet sounds here].



I don’t think we’ll end up hanging this up, but it was a good effort, if I do say so myself.  And this evening’s craziness was well worth it because I found out I still know how to work the sewing machine.  Perhaps the next time Hubs is at a work dinner I can use a new bobbin (with lots of thread on it) and actually complete my cute mini-pillow.  Haha, probably not - but I’ll keep dreaming!

5 Year Dating-versary

Today marks the 5th anniversary of the day when B asked me if I’d “maybe wanna go out sometime or something” and I said “yeah, sure.  Sometime.  Or something.”  And we’ve been together ever since.

Awwww, we’re so romantic.

Seriously, I love that man.  He’s the best.  He’s seen me at my worst (we’re talking ugly cry, screaming my brains out at him, completely hyper and obnoxious and nonsensical … the works ) and stuck around (I think that makes him legally insane) … I couldn’t ask for a better guy.

Blah blah, sappy.  Wrapping this up now.

Love you potato.

Big Girl Panties

I put mine on today. And I’m so proud of myself. Today, I called the local clinic and made a date for my hoo-ha. Unfortunately, the “date” is the day before Valentine’s Day. Nothing like something not so fun up my lady bits to get me in the romantical mood for V Day with my hubs. Sigh.

The good news is that this appointment will give me the opportunity to address some of the fears I’ve been having. Perhaps she’ll be able to give me some medications that will help us make a tiny human. I would like that - as much as I’m anti-medications and pro-natural remedies, I reallllly want a baby, so I’m down with whatever.

Crossing every finger, toe, limb, and anything else …

National Ditch Your Resolutions Day

According to the radio station that plays during nap time at work (which is obviously a very reliable source … ha), January 17th was National Ditch Your New Year’s Resolutions Day.  I figured it was the perfect time to take a look at my resolutions and see how successful I’ve been.  (Here’s a hint - I put off writing this post for almost a week … how’s that for following through?)  I will be completely honest - I am struggling.  Not with everything, which I think is promising - but I definitely need to re-focus and continue working on things.

I’m coming out about even on the being a better wife front.  I’ve been doing an amazing job (for me) of keeping up with most of the household chores, but I haven’t been as affectionate as I’d like to be.  I need to be much more mindful of the way I speak to my husband and the attitude I have toward life.

I have definitely been struggling a lot with following through, but obviously this is a more long term goal.  I feel like I have made some progress, although sometimes it feels like a one step forward, two steps back kind of situation.  The main things I’m trying to focus my follow through energies on lately are blogging more (which is easier said than done, for sure) and finishing my homemade Valentine’s.  I almost gave up on the Valentine’s cards last week when I came across some really cute partially DIY ones at Target, but I didn’t want the work I’d already done to go to waste, so I’m sticking with my original plan.  For now.  I’m hoping to get motivated again on my day off and maybe I’ll finish them (or at least get them closer to being finished).

My keeping in touch with friends and family resolution is very closely related to following through for me.  This is another one of my more long term goals, so it seems to soon to tell if I’ve made any improvements yet.  I did manage to remember to text my mom on my parent’s anniversary and we proceeded to text and chat throughout the day, so that can go in the success column.  I have also called and texted my sisters pretty frequently, but it probably isn’t any more than I usually do.  I need to work on calling my grandmas more (well, calling one and emailing the other - yes, my grandma uses the internet.  And she and grandpa have a hard time hearing on the phone, so e-mail is a better form of communication for us).  I also have been awful about keeping in touch with my friends, aside from a few Facebook messages here and there.  It’s a work in progress.

I have barely started working on saving up more money, mostly because at this point we haven’t gotten any extra money to put away yet.  Hubs just got his promotion, and his first paycheck as a salaried employee was about $100 less than normal, like we expected.  We haven’t seen his first profit sharing bonus yet (which is where the loss in pay is going to be made up), but we’re hopeful for decent returns.  My raise (fingers crossed) should be reflected in one of the first paychecks I receive in February, so I’m hoping that will make up for some of our loss in B’s income.  I’m still pretty skeptical about this raise - I’ll believe it when I see it - but any extra money would definitely be an improvement, and if it is as significant as my work friends are telling me it will be, it won’t be too difficult to put a little extra money into savings.  As far as spending goes, I’ve been convincing myself to not buy things when we’ve gone shopping (I’m pretty proud of myself), and the few things that I have bought recently have been bargain bin finds.  I probably could have gone without buying them at all, but I can’t cut myself off cold turkey.

I’ve read one book in 2012 so far.  I actually read the whole things in one day.  That’s really not anything surprising from me though.  I need to download some more (free) books to read (and then manage to find time to read them).  This goal can sit on the back burner for a while.  I’ll get around to it eventually.

My final resolution about making a decision about Grad school is going to take a lot of time and serious consideration.  As much as I would love to learn more about a subject I’m passionate about, I don’t see myself making a move into a Counseling career.  I guess I’m kind of stuck in the mindset that I want to be a stay at home mom.  The more I think about how expensive graduate school is, and how much of my time it will take up, as well as all of the effort it will take to even apply … I just don’t know if it’s going to happen or not.  I’m definitely going to have to do more than 3 weeks worth of soul-searching to figure out what my plan is for my educational future.

So, there it is, the current status of my New Year’s Resolutions.  The good news is that even though I’ve been struggling, it’s not even February yet.  I have 11 months to work on these things, I just need to take it one day at a time.

Exciting News

Not the news I’ve been waiting for, but awesome news nonetheless.

B got the promotion he’s been waiting for!  He has had all of the responsibilities of the promotion position (Office Manager) without the title or salary for a couple years now.  Because he moved into the position so quickly after he was hired, they decided to hold off on the benefits until he had put in more time at the company.  Luckily, they decided that the first quarter of 2012 was the perfect time to promote him.

There are some awesome perks that come with this promotion, namely a company car (no more paying for gas to and from work!) and getting bumped up to the next profit-sharing bonus level.  He also is now salaried instead of hourly, but it’s kind of a drawback - being paid hourly, he was getting 20 hours of overtime on every check because of the mandatory 50 hour work week.  Being salaried means he’s now missing out on the extra overtime money, so his paychecks will be slightly less than we’re used to, but the increase in his monthly bonuses will cover what he’s losing.  Hooray!

Life Stuff

This week was pretty special. I went on 2 - yes, two! - dates with my husband. That’s almost more than we went on all last year. Just kidding, but it is a big deal, 2 dates in one week.

Date one was on Wednesday night. We went out for dinner, shopping (kind of - we went to the comic book store and Target) and a movie in the Falls - we saw “Young Adult.” I’m glad it was a $5 movie, because I wouldn’t recommend paying more per ticket to see that movie. I thought it was super effing boring, but B thought it was okay.  The trip to Target was awesome - I got a pretty good haul, and it was all from the bargain bins! I bought a cute little teal mailbox (decoration for the newly painted room), Valentine’s/love themed wood blocks that spell “love,” “hugs, “kiss,” and “xoxo” - the o’s are hearts (it is also possible to spell sex and include a heart before or after the word - thanks for figuring that out, B), and 2 sets of really cute magnets - 6 fruits and 6 veggies. I took the magnets to daycare to put on our classroom’s magnet board, but the kids were beating them up and fighting over them, so now they’re on our fridge. :)

Date two was Friday night. We went out for dinner at Applebee’s (fancy schmancy - haha) because we had a gift card. Afterward we used another gift card to get blizzards from DQ. It was a cheap date, but we had fun and I didn’t have to make dinner - win/win!

Our dates made me daydream even more about our upcoming vacation to Atlanta - only 3 and a half months to go!  Perhaps we’ll throw in a mini-vacation in the mean time - that would be lovely.

Happy New Year!

I really hope that 2012 is a great year for us. So far it’s off to a good start. Today, B and I watched some movies, moved furniture back into our lovely gray room, cleaned in my scrap room (a little bit), and ended the night with a few songs on Rock Band. Tomorrow our friend A is coming over to play Dance Central and hang, so it should be another awesome day - I’m looking forward to it.