Blood Work 2.0

I got the call from my NP’s office this morning - my estradiol level was pretty low (103 - it needed to be closer to 300).  Womp womp.

Another e2 test was ordered for today.  This time I was able to have it done at my local clinic, so B didn’t have to take more time off to take me to yet another appointment.  I’m so glad it worked out that way - I feel really bad when he misses work for me.

Anyway, the nurse at the clinic had to take the blood from the same side as it was taken on Saturday (lefty) because the vein on my right side wasn’t cooperating.  I already had a lovely looking bruise in the crease of my elbow - it’s going to be even more glorious later tonight.

I’m not feeling as optimistic about this cycle as I was on Saturday.  I have a feeling that the results of this blood test will come back lower than it was before.  Maybe the next cycle will be more successful - it has to be, right?!  (I know the answer is no, it doesn’t have to be … but I’m trying not to think negative thoughts)  This process is really taking a toll on me lately - I need it to be over soon, but I’m not willing to give up.

Follow Up

Today I had my CD15 follow up appointment, and I think the information I got today sounds pretty promising.

I have one good-sized follie on the right side, measuring about 15.4mm.  I had blood drawn to test my Estradiol level.  If the E2 comes back in the 300 range, I’ll most likely be having another ultrasound on Monday, along with getting the hCG trigger shot.  I’m expecting the results to show up in my online chart some time tomorrow, but I’ll get the official word from the NP’s office Monday morning around 8 AM.

I’m optimistic, but trying to stay connected to reality - this cycle might be successful, but it might not.  Those daydreams are pretty nice though.

As much as I don’t want to start a new work week, I can’t wait for Monday.

Appointment Update

Last Wednesday, I finally had my appointment with the Nurse Practitioner my doctor referred me to.

I was nervous all morning leading up to the appointment, but thankfully, the appointment itself wasn’t awful at all - I really liked the NP, and I got some very good information.  The ultrasound was quick and painless.  My ute looked good, however … I finally got the diagnosis that I’ve been worried about since we started TTC - it turns out I have PCOS.  I’ve had a suspicion all along, despite being told that my blood work came back in normal ranges, so I wasn’t completely shocked by the diagnosis, but it still sucks.  At least now I know for sure, and we can attempt to treat the problem.

After the ultrasound, I sat down with my NP (after getting dressed again, obviously) and she laid out the plan for the rest of this cycle. She renewed my prescription for Clomid, but decreased it to 50mg instead of 100mg to hopefully avoid more cramping.  I have a follow up ultrasound scheduled for CD15 (the Saturday after Thanksgiving), and if I have a good looking follicle, I have the option of getting an hCG trigger shot so that I’ll ovulate, and then … we “get busy” and wait.  A week later, I’ll have to go back to get my progesterone levels tested again, and that finishes out this cycle.

There is a lot to be excited about for this cycle.  I’ll have a chance to see what is actually going on inside my ovaries on Saturday.  We’ll find out if the Clomid is working the way it’s supposed to or not.  We’ll have a plan in place for the next cycle if this one isn’t successful.  We will be one step closer to having our family.  All of these things are great for keeping me positive about this process.  And if it doesn’t work out this time, I’m hoping the plan will make the disappointment sting a little less.

I have until Saturday afternoon to keep my hopes reasonably high, and I’m going to keep sending egg grow-y vibes to my ovaries so that we have something to work with on Saturday.  Wish me luck :)

Progress

It’s hard to believe, but we’re actually making some progress.  Not immediate progress, but progress nonetheless.

I called the doctor’s office a couple of weeks ago with my monthly cycle check in with disappointing results to report - despite the increased dosage of Clomid, I didn’t have any positive OPK’s this cycle.  My doctor was concerned about the intense cramping that I experienced, so I have officially been referred to a different practitioner who has a more hand on approach to treatment (she prefers to monitor patients who are on medication instead of having the patient self-monitor and report back, like I’ve been doing).  Because I hadn’t gotten AF on my own and I was approaching CD40, the new Nurse Practitioner I’ll be seeing prescribed Provera (again) to help things along.  On CD1, I have to call the doctor’s office so I can schedule an appointment and be seen by CD5.  The purpose of the appointment is to get a baseline ultrasound and to check for possible cysts that could have been caused by the Clomid, and to have a general consult with the new practitioner.

I spent almost half an hour on the phone with the insurance company before calling the doctor’s office and agreeing to move forward with this new plan.  I wanted to make sure everything would be covered, especially after the fiasco that was B’s appointment with the specialist that ended up being completely unnecessary and landed us a $400 out of pocket hospital bill for what should have been an office visit.  A bill like that is not an option for us right now.  I had looked over our policy book, and according to the book, everything up to and including IVF is covered, but there’s a $15,000 limit on fertility treatments (so far, I’ve used about $140 of that) - I figured it was probably safe to move forward, but insurance companies can be tricky, so I decided to be safe and call.  After listening to the customer service representative talk in circles for a while and explaining and re-explaining the situation, I finally got an answer - as long as the appointment is billed as an office visit (and it will be, according to the nurse I talked to), we will only be responsible for our co-pay.  Thank goodness.  Now I just have to wait for my next cycle to start so we can get this process moving.

This journey is nothing like I had expected when we first started “trying” a year ago.  It’s more disappointing and frustrating and exhausting than I could have ever imagined  … but I’m not letting that stop me, because I know that the end result is going to be so worth it.

Oct-over It

Near the end of September, something came over me.  I was getting really excited about October.  I had a good feeling about this month and I was getting “signs” that got my hopes up - my fortune cookies told me a pleasant surprise was coming my way soon, and now is a good time to try something new, I had started a higher dose of Clomid.  Things had to work, and my luck had to be changing …

And now, my optimism for October is going down the drain quickly, and we’re barely into the month.

Today is CD22.  To this point, I’ve had negative OPK’s and my chart looks awful.  I wish I still had some optimism left, but I just don’t.  The only thing that seemed somewhat promising was the awful sharp cramps I would randomly feel.  I thought they had to be a sign that my ovaries were trying to function properly.  Because I still haven’t gotten my positive OPK, I’m beginning to think those pains are actually a sign that something is going wrong.

I am well aware that it’s possible to ovulate late in your cycle - even after CD22.  I really really wish that this might be the case for me, but truthfully, the odds are against me.  It is completely my fault.  I haven’t been doing the things I should have been doing - eating right, continuing my yoga, getting real exercise … I’ve been lazy and unmotivated.  I’m just too exhausted to do the things that I know I should be doing.  It’s awful.  I’m definitely stuck in a rut right now, and I need to dig my way out of it ASAP.

I haven’t completely decided yet, but I’m leaning toward an unmedicated cycle next time around.  And I’m pretty sure I’m not going to chart my BBT.  I will definitely still use my Cleadblue Easy Fertility Monitor though - I have to have some idea about whatrs going on at least.  “They” always say that once you take a break from following procedure, things just fall into place.  I’m skeptical of this - my body doesn’t typically function the way it’s supposed to, so odds are if I go unmedicated, I probably won’t ovulate at all, but you never know, right? I’m hoping that taking a break in November will lead to a turkey in my oven … maybe if I get back on track and fake some optimism, good things will happen … until they do happen, I think I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

The Itch

I’m getting it again.  The itch to give part of our house a facelift.  Unfortunately I’m probably not going to be able to follow through for a while because we don’t have any money to put toward house projects (thanks, stupid medical bill).  B isn’t going to be happy that I’m wanting to do this either.  He hates house projects - he’s just not a handy DIY type of guy, so he probably won’t be too involved in the process when I finally get around to it.  And that’s okay with me, I’m more than prepared to do this mostly on my own once we have the budget to do so.

My desire to update another room never really goes away, but it became a stronger, nagging need within the past month or so.  Recently, my break between work shifts has been spent obsessively looking at home decor pins on Pinterest and watching HGTV (specifically Love It or List It, Property Brothers, and Income Property.  Those are my top 3 favorites).  All of the beautiful inspiration made me realize how ugly different parts of our house are (sorry house), and it sparked some ideas in my mind.

There are 2 rooms that I’d really love to tackle that I think could be done on a minimal budget and wouldn’t call for a lot of physically demanding work (I hope) - the laundry room and the front entryway.  These rooms are in decent condition, but they’re so unattractive - wood panels in both rooms - including the ceiling of the front entryway.  Yuck.

When I finally get permission from the Mister to update these rooms, they’ll both go through similar updates.  Due to budgetary restrictions (aka we’re cheap and broke), the wood paneling will have to stay.  It’s kind of crappy, but that’s more of a phase 2 update that will happen wayyyyy down the road.  To make it look less gross, the plan is to prime both rooms with a high quality stain blocking primer (I’m researching what would be the best option), and then both rooms will be covered with a pretty color.  In the laundry room, I’m thinking a nice pale blue to give it a light, clean, airy feeling.  Choosing a color for the front entry is a little more difficult - it has to go with the ugly brown and orange-y floors (hopefully those will also be part of phase 2) and transition well into our brown/tan living room, but because the room currently wood and there’s wood paneling on the ceiling, I’m not really feeling more brown.  I’d love to throw in a light, fun color, but it needs to “go” with the style and feel of the rest of the house.  Paint colors are tricky.  Both rooms will get some nice DIY’ed art treatments and will be de-cluttered, and that’s pretty much the bulk of the work I’ll be able to do on my own.

There are a few projects that I’d like to convince my father-in-law to build for the 2 rooms (I’d try to help at least).  In the laundry room, I’d like to find room for a laundry basket dresser (like the one shown here) and possibly even a litter box hider (like this one).  The front entry needs a bench with storage underneath for shoes.  I feel like all three of these projects should be fairly easy for B’s dad to build, but they’re the lowest priorities on my list, so they’ll be more likely to be a part of phase 2.

I really hope that we can get around to doing the easy, minor updates soon - I’m ready for some change.

Killer

This weekend, I killed something that I was kinda fond of.  No worries though, friends, because it wasn’t a living thing.  A few weeks ago, I started working on a Pinterest inspired project that everyone and their mother has been making lately - an ugly framed picture into a lovely framed chalkboard.  I bought a large framed picture from Goodwill for $8 and change, I grabbed spray paint in chalkboard, primer, and breezy blue, and I started spray painting my heart out.  Once the first coat of chalkboard paint was on the glass and I had primed the frame, I carried my masterpiece to the basement to dry.  Fast forward a couple of weeks, and tragedy strikes …

On Sunday, B was cleaning in the basement, and I went down to bother him.  The cat was wandering around downstairs, and B was mentioning that he didn’t want her to fall into a hole in the workroom floor.  I challenged him, saying I didn’t think it was possible for her to fit - so of course we had to go investigate to see who was right (spoiler alert:  It was B.  No surprise, because I know next to nothing about this house and he’s lived here for 20 years).  So we walked into the workroom, and I had to get closer to the area to get a good look at the hole.  On my way to the opposite side of the workroom, I wasn’t paying attention, and I stepped right on top of the chalkboard painted glass.  It cracked immediately, and I was so disappointed.  If anyone is concerned, I was lucky enough to avoid getting cut by the glass.  B was not so lucky, and got a small cut while disposing of the shards.  Sorry honey.

Even though I experienced a huge disappointment this weekend, I haven’t given up on the chalkboard frame idea.  I have come up with a new plan for *hopefully* making this work - I’m going to chalkboard paint the foam board that was going to serve as the backing to the glass - this could actually be a bonus because it will make it so much lighter.  Hopefully the paint will look just as nice, but if it doesn’t … then I guess I move on to plan C (start over with a new ugly Goodwill picture/frame and use the original in a different way - string some wire across, use small clothespins or clips to hang pictures).  Even though I failed miserably the first time around, I’m hoping that the mistakes I made will lead to an even better result to share in the future.